Stay Strong
by TheHeartNeverLies442
Summary: Pain, abuse, coping, love, regrets, and the fear. She had everything, Now she is alone because no one can know. The long sleeve shirts and fake smiles hid it all, but in her notebook she doesn't hold back and only he can save her. NILEY rated M for abuse
1. Preface

**A/n: ok so I was listening to Kristy are You Doing Ok by Offspring. I love that song, and inspiration overcame me. SO this is the start of something different. It's a change for me, and I'm facing it head on. Enjoy. It is Niley.**

**Its way darker then my normal fanfictions, but I needed to write it. No I'm not being abused, nor is my life this bad. I'm writing this story to open people's eyes to things like this. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**A/n: The bold Italics are Miley's voice over**

_**I was sixteen when it started. It was my junior year in high school and things were already messed up.**_

_Shows Miley walking into school, pulling down her sleeves over her arms. all she is doing is looking at the floor as she walks. _

_**My parents got a divorce, my mom cheated. She was gone now, out of my life forever, hopefully.**_

_Shows Miley's walking into an empty class, sitting down at a desk. She opens a black and white notebook, armed with a pen, she begins._

_**My brother left, he was gone, collage. He said he'd visit, but I am not dumb, its not going to happen.**_

_People start coming into the classroom, they're in a mix of conversation. Miley's head stays down; the pen moves faster across the page in her loopy cursive. _

_**My dad, in one word: a mess. He worked long hours, almost never home, and when he was, he was sleeping. **_

_Shows a boy with curly hair who is sitting across from Miley, look down at her writing. All he can see are the words, "no one can know." _

_**I was ALONE now, I had no one in the world and no one could know how broken I was, I am.**_

_shows Miley sitting on the bleachers, alone. The sun starts to set behind her, she doesn't care, Her eyes are glued to the black and white notebook, she doodles next to her handwriting._

_**All I want to do is scream but, it's not going to happen. What's the point of screaming when no one is there to hear it? There is no point. Exactly, so now I will stay a silent crier. FOREVER.**_

_Shows the same curly hair boy looking at Miley on the bleacher. He cocks his head for a minute, picking out the differences. She has changed, she is not the same. _

_**This is who I am, who I have become, and you cant stop me. No one can save me, no one can know.**_

These are her diary entries, in the Black and White notebook. Her story, her thoughts, her pain, It's all there. It's obvious, that is if you look close enough. Will anyone look close enough? She doesn't know, so she lies, and she tries to cope. It Won't End.

**Staring....**

**Miley Stewart:**

"_The Night is so fresh in my mind it hurts. I cry just remembering, the night that started it."_

**Nick Gray:**

"_The words from her journal were still fresh in my mind 'No one Can know.' _

**ALSO STARING:**

**Billy Ray Stewart**

**Joe Gray**

**Kevin Gray**

**Lily Truscott **

**Demi Lovato **

**And More**

**A story of pain, abuse, coping, love, regrets, and the fear. She had everything, she was happy. Now she is alone because no one can know. The long sleeve shirts and fake smiles hid it all, but in her Notebook she doesn't hold back. Only one person has truly noticed, can he save her in time? The story of what it's like to have to hide it all in the eyes of the person hiding.**

**TheHeartNeverLies442 Presents……**

**Stay Strong **

**Coming soon to FanFiction ……**


	2. Chapter One

**A/N: first real chapter! YAY. Thank you to those who commented, it means a lot. If this story takes off, I will do a three-part book type thing, you'll see. Anyway remember, this is only from Miley's point of view.**

**The sections in bold are detail that Miley is experiencing but not writing about.**

**Disclaimer: I Own NOTHING**

_September 13__th__ 2009_

_Where do I begin? Better question yet, where does it end? What's my middle? Because all I have right now is confusion. But then again isn't that the reason for keeping a journal? to tell the secrets, to let out confusion? Well if so then I'm in the right place. Then again, if I was truly in the right place, my life wouldn't be so screwed up. Or at least I hope it wouldn't be._

_I hide it, make pretend like a five year old that it will end. It will __**NEVER END.**__ By my silence I hide, reside, and dwell. Here, even in my thoughts I am haunted. Haunted by the memories still as fresh as the fake smile I plastered on this morning, or the make up, more like cover up, to all of the things that he is doing to me. I am human but no one can hear me scream and he doesn't care. _

_He is the reason for my pain, my fear, My fakeness, the __**BRUISES**__. It's all him, yeah Daddy dearest, Some great Dad._

_Some times I dream about my escape. Maybe it'll be to some place dramatic like Fiji, or maybe just to a small town. The type of place where everyone knows each other's names, but NO ONE there would know anything of my past, That's how I'd live. _

_I get to school early, anything to escape the hell-hole I live in. I need a breath from it, but I've given up all hope on that. There is no escape, none at all. I opened my locker to empty white halls, it's just the janitor and I, but I can deal. It's the locker that is the problem. It holds memories, pictures of my friends. Friends, well it depends on your definition of that word. To me they're my cover, as long as they don't know, we're fine._

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_I feel like an alien walking into class today. All eyes are on me, and I hate that! I guess the world isn't use to the new Miley. Truthfully, I am not either. The old me was loud and vivacious. The old me wasn't the one in the back of the class ALONE. But that's the new me, scared to death on the inside, but will never show it. I'm bleeding on the inside and ok on the out, well not "ok" but I try to pull it off the best I can. _

_Right now all I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry, but that would be showing weakness, fear, and vulnerability. And that is out of the question. My back aches like hell, the bruises on my arms are dark black, and my whole life its self is broken. The beating last night was one of the worst. I cant even bare to write about it. He was drunk, I was the punching bag, like always._

_I screamed out in pain as he threw me against the walls. I yelped as he ripped my hair out, so that I would stand up only to be punched back down, I cried silently as he twisted a wet towel in his hands and whipped my back with it. I had the white and red welts to prove it. The metallic smell that is still evident in the sent of my skin. It brings back memories of waking up in the puddle of blood this morning. . Last night was one of the worst, and the black eyes that are now covered with make up, are just a reminder._

_I am in agony, but I hide it the best I can. the pound of make up, my jeans, and black long sleeve T-shirt help, but as I walk through the halls, I feel like I'm wearing a neon sign that flashes __**I'm abused**__ for the world to see. I wonder, __**Do they know?**_

**Miley's pen moves at lightening fast speed across her black notebook. Small short black lines covered the whole page, from margin to margin. She is doodling, that is obvious but what she was doodling was a cry for help in the form of black line. **

**An hour passed, the bell rang and Miley made her way to her next class, science. Miley made her way to her assigned seat in the middle of the room. She pulls out her black and white note book, as the world around her disappears. She is alone with her thoughts now even though there was a class of students surrounding her.**

_I've come to a conclusion, people suck. As is life wasn't bad enough some one stole my plants for my science fair project. Honestly, who would do that? I couldn't of said something to offend anyone because I now only speak when spoken to. I couldn't of possibly have done anything for someone to be jealous of me. I have nothing but yet people think that its ok to screw me over with this experiment. Well it doesn't matter if I fail because of this project. I have no one to impress. My dad, if I can even call him that anymore, wouldn't care. Just as long as no one finds out about the alcohol, or the abuse, he is just great._

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_I feel a thousand eyes burn into my head. Ok it's not a thousand, it's only two eyes, one set. They're his eyes, him being Nick Gray. _

_I don't know Nick very well, a party or two last year, back when I was the old me. He was nice, different, he seemed like he didn't are about what people thought of him, it was…. Refreshing I guess. _

_I can feel his eyes move from their focus on the back of my head, and onto the piece of paper that I am writing on this very second. I stay dead still, the only thing moving is my pen in my hand. _

_I can tell he is trying to read what I'm writing, he cant. I purposely write too small, it too loopy cursive, it's all apart of the plan. Maybe someday I'll think of my actual plan, but as of now I am to travel with no map._

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**The final school bell rings. Students of all ages ranging from fifteen to eighteen are pilled into the crowded hall way. It's like a sea of people, all talking, all relieved that the day is over, but one girl sticks out. For Miley has the same expression she's had on the whole day, hallow, and lifeless. She walks the hall, not talking to anyone. She is the loner.**

_The walk home from school is the worst. People try to talk to me, I answer with nothing answers, saying nothing important. They should be happy that I talk at all. I make my way out of the school and descend to the sidewalk. I'm using my arm as a desk to write on, it works. _

_The reason the walk home is so awful is simply because of my thoughts. My brain is consumed with thoughts of the horrid things to come. The only thing I know for sure is, he wont be happy._

_He hasn't been happy since the divorce was official. He's bee drunk ever since, and when he's drunk he's not happy, and I'm the punching bag, like always._

_I take my final steps to the house. I inhale, then exhale, preparing myself for what's to come. With one last deep breath I open the door, sliding my note book into my bag, I'm as ready as a person could ever possibly be for a think like this. _

**A/n: ok so first chapter is always rough, so I want reviews to tell me exactly what you liked and didn't so I can make the story better. **

**Thank you to all of the people who reviewed, it really made my day. You are all so sweet and I want to give you all a hug :] **

**Anyway, please review, it means so much to me when people review. It helps me grow as a writer. **


	3. Chapter Two

**A/n: thank you guys all so much for your sweet and encouraging reviews. You make this story worth writing. :D**

**you all mean a ton to me, so thank you.**

**I'm in a mega good mood today because my birthday is Sunday!!!!!!! yay**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the people**

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_September 15__th_

_It's four am, the strength just came over me, making me able to pull my body off of the floor from the pool of my own fresh blood. He left me there at around two am; he passed out. Drunken trash. I haven't slept and that is clear from the bags, dark as night that reside under my now dull eyes. I look lifeless. _

_I squeeze my eye lids tightly shut from my current spot by the window in my room, or prison. To me its more like a prison, decorated with a fluffy pillow or two, all it really is missing is the iron bars. I let the flash back over come my bruised body, for it is stronger then I am._

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**Flash back….**

"**Where were you!?" my drunken father demanded as Miley walked into her house.**

"**School." her answer was sharp, short, and acute. She was trembling, but it was only visible under a microscope.**

"**School!" he spat, actual spit coming out of his mouth, he chuckled dryly. "you're too much of a dumb slut to go to school!" He shouted, shaper then Miley's original reply.**

**She braced herself as his hand wound up. His fist connected directly with her face, HARD. **

**The hits continued, sharper, harder, more aggressive, It was unending. Miley was bleeding head to toe, but that's not where her dad stopped. He dragged her by the hair on her head into the bathroom. He ripped at her hair, pulling it upwards.**

"**AHHH!" she screamed, by the look in her eyes, you could tell she regretted it. **

"**Shut up you good for nothing gold digging whore!" he said slapping her so hard that the sound could be heard from any ware in the house. Miley flinched, tears pricked her eyes, but she willed with all of her might for them not to fall. She was determined, it was clear in her eyes, she wasn't letting him see her break. **

"**STAND UP!" His voice boomed, as he ripped at her hair once again. This time she didn't make a sound. She bit her lip instead, her teeth clamped down so hard of her lip that blood started to pour from her mouth.**

**She did as told, with all of her strength she stood. "HOLD ONTO THE TOWLE RACK!" he slurred, aggressively placing her fragile hands down onto the silver towel rack. She stood there, dead silent. In her head she prayed for her own survival. **

**Behind Miley, her dad ran cold water over a towel, then twisted it as tight as it could go. He walked over to Miley, ripped off her shirt and then started slapping her back with the towel as hard as he could.**

**The sound of wet cloth connecting with skin rung through the house until later that night, He passed out in the door way of the bathroom. The girl left in her own crimson blood.**

**End of flash back…**

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_By the time the thoughts left my head I am shaking. My tears fall, in graving themselves onto the paper beneath me. I stay still for a minute, letting the fear go dormant._

_The fear is only asleep, it will come back. maybe when I pass his intoxicated, unconscious body, or maybe with the horrors of another flash back. What ever it is, I know that no matter how much I am expecting it, I'll never be ready. _

_Two hours have passed, it's six am. The sun starts to rise over the horizon. It paints colors, yellow, pink, purple, but I see gray. _

_Gray has been the color of my life for about four months now, the day I became completely alone. The day my mom left. Sure it was a long time coming, things like that just don't happen, the build up._

_They start as a crack, too little to be detected, then with each fight, each scream, each tear, it grows. Now it is a much larger crack, a divider. It takes a person to break it off completely, and she did just that. _

_That my friends is why it is called separation._

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_My alarm clock flashed, it didn't ring, there was no point, I'm always up anyway. I haven't slept in, well I cant remember how long. As I said, the fear is stronger, I am vulnerable when asleep. I am unaware, and being unaware is simply a death wish for me._

_Also I hate the thought of not being able to pull myself out of a dream. if it was to get too intense, too, well scary, I'd be stuck. That was not only a hard thing to process, but it was also deathly frightening._

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**Miley lifter her self off of the window seat. She flinched with every step she took as she made her way over to her bathroom. She slowly moved her aching arm to the door knob and twisted it, pain surging through her body, but she didn't cower. She slowly walked into the bathroom, and slipped out of her blood stained outfit, she then examined her bruises. **

**Her arms didn't even look like arms anymore, they looked like black and blue twigs oddly place. Her legs were bruised from the knee cap down, and her knee caps were swollen to the size of softballs. Her back had huge white welts all over it, it was enough to make some one scream out in pain just by looking at it, but Miley stayed quiet. Her stomach was covered in the usual black a blue fist marks, but her face was the worse. She had two black eyes, that luckily didn't swell too much. Her right cheek had a black and blue handprint engraved on it, while her left cheek was just red. Some small chunks of her hair was missing, along with dried blood every where.**

"**Another day…." Miley whispered as she got into the shower and let the hot water take over her soul.**

**Hot steam filled the room as Miley stepped out of the shower, she encircled herself in a towel and moved to her closet. She picked out a long sleeved gray shirt with holes to slide your thumbs into, a white light weight t-shirt to go over that and a pair of old worn out jeans. It covered all body bruises perfectly.**

**Next Miley made her way over to her makeup counter. She dumped pounds and pounds of make up onto her face until she look as close to normal as she was going to get.**

**She walked over to the mirror in her room and once again whispered, "Another day…."**

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_Once again I used my arm to prop my notebook up as my feet padded the sidewalk. My walk to school had me in pure agony. With each step I took I felt like I wanted to cry. But there was no time for tears, I had to stay strong. _

_Armed with an Oscar worthy fake smile and my trusty gray shirt, I wish I could say I was ready._

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**A/n: ok so I'm ending it there, sorry it's short but next chapter is really important especially to all of those Niley fans out there XD **

**Ha ha, love you guys, and would love you even more if you reviewed. **


	4. Chapter Three

**A/n: hey my favorite people :D ok so I have an apology to make. I'm so sorry for my lack of posting. Things have been, well hectic, lets leave it at that, at home lately. Posting has become hard, but I have been writing, a lot. I actually write in a black note book during my classes for this story, which I think, is kind of funny. Any way sorry, and I'll try to be better.**

 **Remember italics are Miley's writing, and plain writing is an outsider's point of view.  ** 

 The halls were crowded, but that was normal. If you strained your eyes and you really wanted to you could make out the "invisible." By that I mean a person who simply doesn't want to be seen. She weaves through the halls, head down, hair falling in here face, she wants to be invisible. She has a slight limp, but you wouldn't notice it, that is unless you were trying to see it. She also slightly flinches every time she takes a step, but no one will notice that. She does a good job at hiding it, making it seem like she's ok, I guess I takes a good amount of practice, but she can do it really well.  

She moves over to her locker, slowly she screws in the carbonation opening up her locker just to exchange some of her books. She ignores any one near her, she gets a "hello" or two but she either just nods in response or ignores it altogether.   

_September 15th _

 _Sliding into my Bio seat, the rest of the world disappears. I am alone, the best place for me. All there is is the sound of my pencil marks puncturing the silence that hangs overhead.  _

 _The teacher is talking, I'm not sure what she is saying, but I shrug it off. That is until I hear my name called.   _

 "_Miley," My teacher says looking off of her master list, "You'll be partnered with Nick, go sit with him, that is your spot for the rest of the year."_

_My eyes advert from my writing; I glance at him, Mr. curious, just great.   _

The girl slowly stands from her seat, she flinches, but no one is there to watch. Well technically that's a lie, there are people there, over eight-teen kids and a teacher, but really, really, she is alone. No one is there because no one sees her; she is invisible, just as invisible as she wants to be.   

She makes her way, step by step, over to the boy, Nick. She slowly sits flinching when her back comes in contact with the back of the chair. He looks over at her, intently, he looks down for a minute at his papers, and then re focuses his eyes on her. She is noticitceably uncomfortable under his sharp gaze. She waits a minute before something snaps in her brain.    

"What? Take a picture it will last longer." She says somewhat harshly.   

"What's up with the flinching?" As soon as the words leave his lips, you can see a flash of worry go through her eyes, but she blinks it away.  

 "What do you mean?" 

 "You're flinching, when you walk, sit, yeah you're flinching." 

 "No, I'm not"

 _I didn't want to talk to him; He's only going to make this harder. "Are sure you're ok?" he asks. If I were to reply truthfully, well then I'd break down. So I resort to the one thing I do best, LIE, right through my teeth.  _

 _Problem number, well honestly, I lost count. But anyway the problem being the one thing I prayed from day one of the abuse would not come up. What. If. He. Didn't. Buy_. It.  

_Thank goodness, he just nods and answers, "Ok, if you say so," but one thing I've always been good at, reading people. Like a book, I can tell his eyes show uncertainty, the death of all good lies: The person who seeks the truth.  _

 He opens up his books, and started to look over his note. He obliviously knew what he was doing. The teacher talked on, his eyes looked focused on her lesson but it was clear that he kept his main focused was the brunet writing in a black and white note book sitting next to him.  

The teacher left the room to go make copies, one thing she should of done earlier, but that just not what happened. Her hand flew across the page as she kept writing and doodling in the black and white notebook. It would be no surprise if she didn't even realize if the teacher left the room.

  "Hey, why do you always write in that book?" His voice punctured the silence that she created for her self.  

 She adjusted in her seat, closed her book but left her finger in between to mark her place. She shot him daggers, "Cause I do." her answer was sharp, and cold.  

 "Look," He raised his hands up in defense then continued, "it was just a question, no need to bite my head off." 

 She sighed, "Sorry," Then her eyes went right back down to her desk, reopened her book. She faded back into her world, she was gone.  

 _I returned back to my writing after our brief conversation. He can tell that it is best for him to just drop it, I can tell. So he turns and listens to the teacher who just walked back into the room. _

 _Or at least he tried to pretend that he was interested in what she was saying, well news flash Nicholas: It aint working. I can feel his eyes trying to make out something on my face, to say the least I feel uncomfortable. I wonder, does he know?   _

"Hey why do you have that bruise on your cheek?" He looks into her now adverted eyes.  

 "I fell," 

 "Really how?" doubt was evident in his voice.   

"Why would I tell you?" She shifted in her seat and rested her head on her hand, now facing him.  

 "Cause, you have to tolerate me for the next ten months. Might as well get it off your chest." 

 "Ok, fine you caught me, I'm in the mafia." Sarcasm was seeping from her words.   

"Really? The Mafia, that's the best you can do?"   

"No reasons to waste a good come back on a curly haired annoyance." Venom was in her voice, but she seemed more relaxed, like she knew even before he did that she now held the reigns in this conversation.

"I'm hurt." He raised his hand up to cover his heart in a mock fashion; she just reopened her book and disappeared into her own world.

_Ok so I'll be the first to admit, blaming the mafia; not my best excuse. But hey he shut up didn't he. _

_XOXOXO_

_Hours droned on, ok minutes but I'm sure that everyone out there has felt that moment where everything sucked, you hand nothing to look forward to and nothing good to look back on, so the clock just seems to stand still. It's frozen in time, or in fear. What ever it might be I'm familiar with both. But if you cant relate to that at all, then God bless you, I hope you never do._

_The bell rang signaling the end of the period; music to my bruised ears. My bag is slung over my side, all of my books except for the one in my hand that is. This book._

_I'm about to stand and make my exit that is when I feel a hand touch my back. The pain is unbearable, the most physical pain I've had post beating from dear old "Dad."_

The girl cowers in fear; she looks terrified, frightened, and about ready to beg for mercy. Pain is more then just evident in her expression, something isn't right.

"Hey, it's just me, your annoyance." He said coming into her view. She regained her composure; she forced her self to that is. You could almost hear her talking to her self in her head telling her to make it look believable.

"What do you want?" Her voice wasn't harsh, or venom-filled anymore, it was, well mostly hollow.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He looked genuinely worried, his eyes said it.

"Yes, positive."

"Ok then, well who's house do you want to work at tonight?"

"Yours. See you then." With that she just left, still with the slight limp that she was desperately trying to hide. He just stood there for a minute, thinking.

_I left, I didn't care that my answer was abrupt; I needed to leave the room. I felt like the walls were closing in. I ran out and didn't even bother getting my books, just headed to my next class. The minute class started I asked for a hall pass to "go to the bathroom."_

_I made my way out of the class, standing on my wobbly legs. I walked over to my current spot: the north stair well. The pain was too fresh, so bad that I did something I usually, almost never do innless during a beating. I cried, sharp sobs escaping my lips. They were my only friends, my only comfort. _

**A/n: ok so ending it there. I know it was kind of boring, but it did set up a lot of what is going to happen in the future. **

**Thanks for understanding that my Internet went down and on top of that I also have finals and about a million other things. So I do have a life as shocking as it may seem. Anyway, love you all!**

**So I've come to a conclusion, if you took all the time to read this then what is the harm in spending another few seconds and type me a review. Even if you hated it with a burning passion. **

**Bottom line: PLEASE REVIEW**


	5. Chapter Four

**A/n: morning readers! Well its morning for me, I'm not so sure about you all :]**

_**UNDERLINED ITALICS WILL NOW BE MILEY'S WRITING!!!**_

**Anyway Disclaimer: would I write this if I owned them? I think not!**

_I looked down at my watch, 12:30pm. Ten minutes until class ends, I should get back. I decided to suck it up and return to class. As I entered all eyes shot over to me. I'm powerless under the stares of my pears. The teacher's eyes are the worst. Her eyes hold disappointment, but then they soften as she notices my puffy eyes, she can tell I was crying. Trust me she won't ask though, she just wouldn't._

_Lunch came faster then expected, I guess who ever said "time flies when you're having fun" left out that it also flies when you're in sever pain._

**OXOXO**

_At this time over a hundred kids are in line fore food at the cafeteria, pushing and shoving their way only to buy Sloppy Joes. Me on the other hand, I'm sitting on the bleachers that face the dead empty football field. All I plan to do is write, not eating. I have no money to buy the food here, and having an empty stomach helps somewhat during beatings, this way I wont puke. _

_Don't get me wrong, I eat. Well that is if you call stuffing your face once a day at 3am when "he" is passed out drunk, eating. Then yes I do eat. _

Miley is so wrapped up in her writing, her head is down, eyes on her book and she is writing furiously. The way she is sitting, in a hunched over position is enough of a clue that she has officially blocked out the whole rest of the world. She doesn't even hear the sound of faint footsteps approaching her from behind.

"Hey." Nick's voice called as he sat down next to Miley.

Miley jumped out of her seat, just by looking at her you could tell that she was terrified. "AHH!"

"Whoa, sorry, I didn't think you'd be that scared." Nick said shifting in his seat.

"No , its ok. I'm just not used to people being out here a lot at this time." She said calming her self down.

"Do you eat out here every day?" Nick look confused, he never noticed her absence from the cafeteria until today.

"Pretty much. Which brings me to my question, what are you doing out here?"

"you looked lonely, and last time I check this was accessible to any student." Nick said while taking out his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"I guess you're right, but I am not lonely." She shook her head, looking at his sandwich.

"What ever you say. Do you want a bite?" Nick asked ripping his sandwich in half, holing it out for her to take.

"Um, sure thanks." Miley relaxed as her hand reached out for the sandwich.

A few minutes in a comfortable silence passed while the two sat and ate Nick's sandwich.

"So…." Miley said feeling slightly awkward.

Nick laugh. "Um, so what do you like to do in your free time besides write in that mysterious book of yours?" Nick asked brushing off the crumbs that had fallen onto his pants from his now digested food.

"My journal isn't mysterious." Miley defended.

"Ok then what is in it? What about it is so important that it NEVER leaves your side?"

"Nothing that you need to know about." Miley simply responded.

"Ok look, I'm no dummy, I realize you're not going to tell me now. So what else can we talk about."

"We could talk about the project?" Miley suggested the only thing that she was sure she could talk about and avoid the subject of her family.

"ok, so what do you want to do?"

"Honestly, I wasn't paying attention at all the whole class."

Nick laugh and shook his head before explaining the project for the rest of the lunch period before they knew it, it was time to go back to class.

"It was actually really cool talking to you." Miley said as they walk back into the school doors.

"what's that supposed to mean?" Nick joked looking at Miley.

"Figure it out Gray." Miley said as she turned and started walking to her locker with her journal.

"you bet I will Stewart!" Nick shouted after her before going to his own locker.

_Under estimating, we all do it. No matter or what, it's bound to happen. Me, myself I underestimate the pain "he" (yes I decided that I will no longer call him dad, he is noting like a dad at all to me) can inflict everyday. But maybe that's not underestimating, maybe that's just false hope. Maybe it's me not wanting to believe that "he's" a monster. But that's a whole other topic that I am positive has nothing to do with my physics teacher, Mr. Nebert. is talking about currently. _

_But the reason for I even started talking about underestimating is simply because I underestimated Nick Gray. After our conversation I realized as hard as it is for me to admit it, maybe Nick does have a heart, and is that one person out there who isn't out to hurt me. Maybe he just chooses not to show it usually. Then again maybe the fact that he does have a heart is as clear as day but I'm too wrapped up in making sure NO ONE notices my messed up life, to realize that Nick wears his heart on his sleeve. I wish I could. _

**-~-~-~-**

_The Day's end came quicker then yesterdays, or so it feels. My books have been gathered from my locker and all that remains is that terrible walk home. _

_I escaped the somewhat safety of the school hallways and walked through the school parking lot. A thousand car-owning teenagers drive away, hopefully I'll see them tomorrow. But one can only—_

Miley was snapped away from her writing when a car pulled up right next to her. Nick rolled down his window and said, "Hey, Where are you going?"

"Home? You know where most people go after school." Miley said looking at him.

"I thought we were working on the project." Nick questioned.

"oh yeah, I um—" Miley started but was then cut off by Nick.

"it's ok, I know you forgot. Hop in, I'll give you a ride back to my house so we can start this project.

"um, ok?" Miley said obviously unsure, most likely because of her dad.

They both are dead silent as the car pulls away from the curb and drives into the nicer part of town where Nick's house is located. Miley's eyes are doing nothing but gazing out of the window as Nick concentrates on the road.

Miley was completely out of it when the car stopped and Nick shook her arm. "we're here, hey you ok?"

Miley flinched in pain from the contact of Nick's hand and her arm. She quickly snapped out of her trance and moves her arm away. "Yeah I'm fine, lets get to work."

"ok." Nick said leading the way up to the mansion-sized house that Nick lived in his whole life.

"this is your house?!" Miley asked stunned as they walked though the doors of the mansion.

"Yeah, I know it's hugely annoying. Even I get lost." Nick said laughing at Miley's shocked expression.

"That is pretty awesome!" Miley said as she followed Nick to the home elevator. "You have an elevator?"

"Yeah, it's kind of fun to mess with." Nick smiled as Miley was still in disbelief that someone could live in a house like this.

"Wow." Nick laughed at Miley stood there confused.

"what's so funny Gray?"

"I think this is the most emotion you've put into a conversation the whole year."

"it so isn't." Miley couldn't believe that he noticed her major change in mood as well.

"what ever helps you sleep at night." Nick smiled and led Miley into his room.

There were guitars everywhere, a portable eclectic piano, and a drum set in the corner. "You're a music buff?" Miley asked looking around."

"yeah pretty much. Now come on, stop obsessing over my house and lets start this project. We need to create an experiment to demonstrate

it the presence of cigarette smoke affects the growth rate of plants."

"yeah we should probably start." Miley said sitting down on Nick's bed and pulling out her textbooks.

"ok so I say we make a small dome to grow the plants in, then each day add cigarette smoke in the enclosed dome, then record the data." Nick proposed.

"ok, two questions though. One how are we going to make a dome, and two, neither of us smoke so how are we going to get cigarette smoke." Miley said as Nick joined her on his bed next to her.

"Well the dome we can improvise and use like clear wrap and a bowl, and we could always ask Mr. Newbert to smoke them for us."

"true, ok well I guess that works, but do you really think Newbert would do that for us?" Miley questioned.

"Yeah, I mean it might take some convincing, but I'm sure he'd be up to it." Nick said.

"ok so then I guess we're done for today then?" Miley asked sitting up more on the bed.

"That or I could give you a tour of the house?" Nick asked obvious to anyone but Miley that he didn't want her to leave.

"um, sure I guess." Miley hesitated but decided that it was better to do this then to go home to a beating right away.

"ok cool. Follow me." Nick said as he left the room and took Miley all over the four and a half (attic that is redone) house.

After almost forty-five minutes the two teens ended up in the Gray's kitchen. "and this here is the kitchen. Hey Paula." Nick said gesturing to the room and then saying hi to the chef who Nick obviously knew pretty well."

"wow, this whole place is amazing." Miley said in awe.

Nick laughed before saying, "Paula, this is Miley my partner for a school project. And Miley this is Paula, she has been our family's chef since I was three." Nick said introducing Miley to a tall brunet women in a long chef's coat and hat.

"nice to meet you Paula." Miley said politely.

"you too sweet heart. Well Nick I have to go, dinner is in the fridge, and cookies are on the counter for the both of you. Oh and Nick, your parents called, they wont be home till late, their plane was delayed."

"Ok thanks Paula, I'll see you tomorrow." Nick said hugging Paula before she left the room and walked out of the house.

"she seems nice." Miley commented.

"Yeah she's the best." Nick said then walked over to the counter. "and she makes amazing cookies." Nick took one off the red plate and passed one to Miley.

"Thanks" Miley said then took a bite.

"Wait, you want milk?" Nick asked going over to the fridge and grabbing the carton and tow glasses.

"Yeah thanks." Miley said as Nick handed her a tall glass of milk.

"No problem." Nick said as both of them sat down at the island in the kitchen.

Miley soon took a big sip of milk and ended up with a milk mustache. "Hey you got a little," Nick said gesturing to Miley's lip.

Miley wiped off the milk from her lip and then started laughing her real contagious laugh. Nick just looked at her mesmerized by her beautiful laugh.

"what?" Miley asked as Nick stared.

"oh, um, nothing." Nick stuttered.

Miley just smirked and jokingly said, "oh….. this is the moment you fall in love with me isn't it?"

**A/n: wow that was a long chapter for me! Sorry for the wait, I have been absolutely swamped. And credit to Gossip girl for that last line. I just loved it so much that I knew that I had to use it. :]**


	6. Chapter Five

.

A/n: I know it's been a while but from now until August there is a chapter every other week, I promise. Special thanks to Dreaminggurl07 for posting this up for me, you're amazing girly.

Miley's writing is underlined. Everything else is from an outsider's point of view.

Previously…

Miley wiped off the milk from her lip and then started laughing her real contagious laugh. Nick just looked at her mesmerized by her beautiful laugh.

"What?" Miley asked as Nick stared.

"Oh, um, nothing." Nick stuttered.

Miley just smirked and jokingly said, "Oh… this is the moment you fall in love with me isn't it?"

Nick's facial expression changed for a quick second, one of those, 'if you blinked you'd miss it' moments. Before his face was covered in a little boyish smirk.

"You'd like that wouldn't you Miley?" Nick's tone was joking but Miley's cheeks still turned a light pink color.

"In your dreams." Miley laughed and mockingly hit Nick on the shoulder.

The two teens laughed and joked for the next half hour. If you didn't know any better you'd think they've been friends their whole lives. It was clear that neither of them had a care in the world at that moment. Then like a light bulb turning on in an old cartoon Miley stopped.

"Wait. Nick, what time is it?" Miley's expression was on of masked worry. It was clear that she was trying to shield her emotions from breaking free once and for all.

"Um, It's almost six. Why?" Nick said looking around the room before his eyes found the clock on the stove.

"N-nothing. I, um, I just, I have to get home." Miley stuttered quickly grabbing all of her books and tossing them into her shoulder bad not caring how they fit in there. It was clear that Miley was sacred.

"Ok, um do you want a ride home?" Nick asked helping her grab her books.

You could almost see Miley weighing the option in her head before she said, "Um yeah that would be great. I just really have to get home."

"Ok, I'll just grab my keys and meet you in my car." Nick said leaving to go get the keys from the counter where he dropped them earlier.

"Thanks!" Miley said in a rushed tone and then bolted out the door with her bag.

It was evident that as the two teens speeded down the now quite streets that something unsaid hung in the air. Something that didn't want to be said, or admitted, same thing? I think not.

"Thank you, I'll see you later." Miley's words were slurred in a nervous rush as Nick only looked at her with worried eyes.

"No problem. Are you sure you're ok?" Nick asked as Miley look as if she was getting impatient with his questions.

"Yes, perfect. Bye!" Miley didn't let Nick have another word in as she slammed the door and bolted up the path way to her house.

Miley waited there for exactly three minutes and twenty-three seconds before Nick drove away. As soon as he was out of sight she was inside, her greeting: not the most welcoming.

"Where were you **?!" Miley's Dad's voice shook the house with his pure anger, and then he grabbed her by the neck and shoved her up against the wall, alcohol fresh in his breath.

"I-I was working on a school project." Miley managed to stutter out, while she was in sure terror.

"School project? SCHOOL ** PROJECT! How stupid do you think I am? Yeah right you **!" Each word fired out of his mouth, one more painful then the next. They all cut through Miley like a knife.

"Sorry?" Miley's voice sounded foreign, and so small. Her words came out more like questions as she contemplated if she made the right decision in speaking or not.

"Sorrrryyy? YEAH RIGHT! YOU'RE GOING TO PAYYY YOU SLLLUT!" Mr. Stewart's voice slurred as he moved Miley's body back before slamming it back into the wall once again.

This cause pictures to fall and their frames to shatter all over the wooden floor, glass was now covering the entire ground surface around the living room.

Miley wanted to cower in terror, but Billy's grip stayed firm and forceful on her neck. Her face started to turn blue, as Billy's gripped tightened. Billy's eyes were still filled with rage and looked like those of a wild beast. But I guess there is something to say that even the cold hearted have hearts. As Miley's body started to go limp in Billy's hands he let her go, falling straight to the ground onto of the glass.

Miley's eyes showed pain, no pain wasn't even enough to describe the feelings etched into her features, but Billy wasn't done. He started kicking at Miley's stomach profusely; he was in a frenzy of anger.

Miley just curled herself into the smallest ball she could manage and awaited the end of her living night mea. No tears were shed from her eyes, but if you looked close enough, she was crying.

The Next day came around all too slow. "He" passed out around ten at night, and I was left to pick my bruised body off the floor. I went around most of the night trying to get the house back to what it looked like before the pervious events of the night, it was no easy task.

The bruises from the night before made me want to cringe with every step I took as I walk to school. It took me two hours to make my self look like I didn't go through hell the night before. I didn't mind spending the time all that much, I was up anyway. I don't sleep too much anymore, weather its from the fear of "him" coming into my room when I am so vulnerable, or it's the worry of me not being able to wake myself up from a dream where things are ok.

Miley's head was snapped up in a motion that sent harsh pains from the hands that held her there the night before as she saw the car that pulled up beside her on the street.

"Hey Miles." It was Nick in his car, the look of concern and worry still didn't leave his eyes from the night before as he spoke.

"Hey." Miley said as she kept walking on the white pavement.

"Do you want a ride?" Nick said, giving Miley a smile that could turn any girl into jell-o with once glance.

Miley smiled, it was a small smile but it was an attempt. At that point I think that it's impressive that anyone could manage a smile. "Sure I guess."

"Cool." Nick said as he unlocked the doors to his car and watched Miley get into the car.

"Thanks Nick." Miley said as she buckled her seat belt, and Nick started to peal away from the curb.

"No problem. But I do have one question." Nick said as they approached a red light, his eyes instantly finding hers.

"Ok, shoot I guess." Miley smiled a bit bigger this time, her body was relaxed and it was noticeable that she was comfortable.

"Why did you leave in such a rush last night?"

"Oh, um my Dad is just really strict and I said I'd be home by four." The words spilled effortlessly out of Miley's mouth. Academy award winningly believable. But Nick's response was surely one that Miley wasn't expecting.

"Ok, when you're ready to tell me what is actually going on, I'll be here." Nick said not buying into Miley's acting skills. The light changed and as Miley looked at Nick taken back, Nick just returned his gaze to the road.

The majority of the rest of the ride to school was hung in silence. Surprisingly it wasn't awkward though, it was a mix of comfortable and understanding. Something was just noticeably right about the two of them being together. It was like connecting the two puzzle pecies that were just the perfect fit.

"I'll see you in class Miley." Nick said smiling as they reached the doors of the school.

"I'll see you." Miley smiled at Nick and they parted way, each going to their own lockers. If it wasn't clear a minute ago it was sure clear now that something was just plain right.

A/n: ok more of a filler chapter, but I wanted to establish the growing relationship between Nick and Miley a bit more.

A/n:(dreaminggurl07) I'm so sorry to Theheartneverlies422 and to all her readers because this was supposed to be up yesterday. I was at a birthday party/sleepover so it slipped my mind that I had to post this. Just send me a message or anything saying you forgive me, because there's this big load of guilt right now on my shoulders. I'm extremely sorry again.


	7. Chapter Six

A/n: hey guys there isn't much to say, its 1:00AM right now, but I'm not letting myself go to sleep with out writing this chapter so yeah. I hope you appreciate my dedication. I do it because I love you all more then you know. (not in a creepy way?)

As always underlined is Miley's journal and regular writing is an outsiders point of view.

Ok I've come to terms with it, I'm crazy. I'm crazy because, well I get these weird feelings every time I'm around Nick. It feels like I'm about to choke on every word I say and like I'm in some one else body. The body of a person who has a regular life, one that she doesn't live in fear of her own father, that's what I think I love the most about Nick, he makes me forget.

Right now I'm seated in the back of my Bio class, this being the only way to insure that no one saw my pain. The bruises from last night were so, just terrible. This morning my body was covered in miss-colored and miss-shaped bruise that were all out lined in blood. All because of that physco, I just hate him so much. What on earth has the world come to that gives him the right to break me, to kill all that is good in my life? What gives him the ** right to cause me all this pain? I want to know!

"Miss Stewart, are you alright?" The teacher asked, her question directed to the back of the room where Miley was. The teacher knew better then to call Miley out for writing in that book of her's. The teacher was well aware that it would only cause trouble. But the teacher called her out of some thing totally different, the fact that Miley looked like she was n complete agony.

"Yes, sorry madam'" Miley's voice was only as strong as it had to be and that was clear. The teacher knew from what she saw of Miley in the past year, not to question her, so the teacher didn't and continued.

This however caught the attention of one curly haired boy sitting two desks away from Miley. His eyes that were searching to lock with hers, were felt by Miley as her head lifted from her writing to make eye contact with Nick.

It was truly amazing, but some how they were able to basically have a conversation with their eyes. Nick 'asked' Miley if she was really ok. And all Miley did was nod in a response, giving Nick the hit that even if she wasn't ok, she wasn't going to let him know. A quality of Miley's that Nick was growing to love and to hate.

"Mr. Gray! Please will you stop staring at Miley and pay attention to the lesson!" The teacher said trying to win back Nicks attention.

"Sorry." Nick said shyly as all the other kids let out a small laugh, sure it was pretty fifth grade of them (A/n: sorry to any fifth graders) but it was kind of funny.

Miley's cheeks turned a bright pink after the teacher's comment. Miley was no doubted not the type of girl who was used to being noticed.

Ok saying things are weird today would be the understatement of the year. Since when does anyone get in trouble for looking me? And since when is that person Nick? I know he's been trying to read over my shoulder to see what I'm writing about for the past year, but he's never been enough of an idiot to get caught. I've just always been able to notice.

Maybe this is all normal? I mean its not like I'm used to paying attention in class. And yet another major understatement would be to say that I know anything about boys. The only guy in my life is "him" and I don't even consider him human any more.

I would also like to know if thinking this much during lunch is normal? I highly doubt that most kids my age spend their forty-five minute lunch period thinking this much, and it's only five minutes into the period.

"Hey Stewart!" Nick's voice came clear as he walked over to stand in front of Miley, who was facing the empty football field from the bleachers.

"Are you stalking me Gray?" Miley laughed as Nick climbed the few steps to sit next to her.

"You caught me." Nick mocked putting his hands up in front of him, this causing both teens to laugh.

"So what's up?" Miley asked as she closed her journal.

"Not much, you know getting into trouble for looking at you, "stalking" you, same old same old."  
"Ha, ha. Wait what was that about anyway?"

"What was what about?"

"You know what?"

"No I don't know what, what was about what."

"You so do know what, what was about what!" Miley said trying to obliviously get Nick to admit to something with out having to say it.

"Ok, now I'm confused." Nick admitted causing Miley to laugh.

"Yeah me too, I just want to know why the heck you were staring at me?"

"Oh… can't tell you." Nick said as he took a bite out of his sandwich.

"Why can't you tell me?"

"It's top secret, guarded by the FBI and all." Nick said nodding his head, impressed with his lying skills.

"Yeah right, seriously why."

"No, I've said too much already." Nick said.

"Annoying," Miley said and mock pushed Nick in the shoulder.

"Nosy," Nick said back shoving Miley lightly back.

Miley cringed as Nick's hand came in contact with her bruised frame, but she tried to hide it the best she could, and said, "I am not nosy!"

"You so are." Nick nodded his head as to agree with himself.

"Yeah sure…" Miley said sarcastically.

"Thanks for agreeing." Nick smirked.

"You know what?"

"What Stewart?" Nick asked still smirking.

You—" Miley was cut off by the sound of the bell, telling them that lunch was over.

"See you Stewart." Nick called as he walked in the opposite direction form Miley.

"Only in your dreams Gray!" Miley called back causing Nick to laugh as he faded out of sight.

Ugh those weird feelings are back again. I feel like my stomach is in a knot as I slide into my seat for Trig. Is this normal? Should I go see a doctor or something? Because seriously, I've never felt this way before, and I have to work on that project today again with him. Maybe it's in my head that it has to do with Nick. Maybe it's just from "his" beatings, they've been worse lately. He doesn't ever seem to show any remorse in his eyes as he dose it. Or maybe these feelings are just because my life is so messed up and my body is finally reacting to that. I don't know, but one thing I do know is that my Trig. Teacher wont be the one to help me with this.

-~-~-~-

Three o'clock came as all the students walked out of the doors and onto the sidewalk. Miley walked over to Nick's car and stood there waiting for him.

"And you say that I'm stalking you?" Nick joked as he approached his car and unlocked the doors.

Miley opened the passenger seat door and slid into the seat. "Hey you're the one who wanted to work on the project today."

"Touché." Nick nodded as he pulled out of the school parking lot.

"You do know you just said "to touch" in French, right?" Miley asked looking at Nick.

"Then why do people say it all the time if it means to touch?" (A/n: I never got that either, if you do please tell me)

"I don't know, don't question it, just drive."

"Attitude." Nick said under his breath.

"Heard that, and I'm just really tired." Miley said resting her head on the window as the outside world moved at light speed.

"Are you sure you want to work on it today?" Nick asked with a look of concern in his eyes.

"Yeah lets just go." Miley said as they approached Nick's house. Nick put the car in park and got out along with Miley and walked up to the front door opening it.

"I guess we'll work in my room again." Nick said pointing to the elevator.

"Ok."

Much like the day before, both sat on top of Nick's bed and figured out more of what they wanted to do for their project and how they were going to go about doing it. Surprisingly to both of them all they really talked about was the project until they knew exactly what they were doing.

"OK so we'll start working on it this weekend?" Nick asked as he looked down at the list they made of materials and their procedure.

"Sure." Miley said and then glanced over at Nick's clock on the bedside table.

Nick followed Miley's gaze to the clock and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Sorry, late again! I can't believe it's already seven!" Miley said shoving her books into her bag as fast as she could, much like the night before.

"Need a ride again?" Nick asked already grabbing his keys.

"That would be amazing, thank you." Miley said as they both ran down stairs and bolted out the front door and to the car. The car ride was silent as Miley looked out the window and Nick concentrated on the road.

Soon the Stewart household came into to view and Nick slowed down turning to Miley, "I'll see you tomorrow." Nick said sweetly.  
"Yeah, thanks Nick, bye!" Miley said as she jumped out of the car and ran up to the door of her house.

Miley turned around and waited for Nick's car to turn the corner and be out of sight as she walked into her house. The smell of alcohol, her only greeting.

"LATE AGAIN YOU **" Billy slurred looking at Miley as he set his half drunken bear.

"S-s-sorry" Miley said as she braced herself for what was undineably coming.

"SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT YOU **!" Billy knocked over the table that dared to block his way. He came closer to Miley; anger in his eyes, there was no stopping him.

He grabbed Miley by the throat and shoved her up against the T.V. he took Miley's head and began smashing the side of it onto the corner of the T.V multiple times until he was satisfied with the damage. Then he let her body just drop to the ground.

But he wasn't done yet, he then started violently punching and kicking Miley square in the stomach time after time. He had amazing aim for a drunk, I'll say that.

He then ripped Miley off the ground by her limp arms and shoved her up against the wall again, only a lot harder then yesterday, and she let out a gasp. There would for sure be bruises there tomorrow, along with her arms, with how hard he is gripping them. Miley's face showed pure agony and somewhat of defeat as she no longer even resisted her Dad's fists. She was too weak to do much of anything, so she just took it.

-~-~-~-

For the next two weeks the same routine continued, Miley would cover up her bruises and tidy up the house in the early morning before school, then she'd walk out side only to see Nick there waiting to give her a ride to school. Nick would ask how Miley was, and every day the same reply of, "fine" would be his only answer.

Then everyday at 12:00 Nick would come and join Miley outside on the bleachers and they'd always talk about random things and such.  
Every afternoon was filled with Nick and Miley's busy work on the Bio project at Nick's house. Nick would give Miley a ride home and Miley would wait until Nick was out of sight before entering her home to face her dad.

And every night Miley's dad would violently beat her, each day worse then the one before it. Then the cycle would begin all over again.

But Miley was starting to change, she was happier during school hours, and she was becoming best friends with Nick. They would talk on the phone some nights, when Billy was done with his beatings early enough and Miley was able to manage to speak words and not sound like she was in the pure agony she was in.

It all was just an endless circle and in the middle of it all is Nick and Miley.

A/N: a bit boring, I know but then again remember it is 2AM right now, and I am tired. But trust me the next chapter is one of the ones you've all been waiting for. :]

Love you all and would love you more if you REVIEWED!!!


	8. Chapter Seven

A/n: hey guys. What's up? Right now I'm in my room, it's like 2am here, and I'm watching my dog snore at the end of my bed while deciding that I need a life :] anyway here is chapter 7.  
Underlined is Miley's writing everything else is third person.  
Disclaimer: nothing, you know the drill

(it's Friday)

Things have changed over the past two weeks, everyday now I eat lunch with Nick, no awkwardness at all there. Every night Nick and I work on the project, which is now, almost finished, and then after we'd work Nick would drive me home in a hurry and my dad would beat me.

Things change, in my case people don't. My dad still hits me, it's actually been worse lately, and I'm almost always in pain, but I think I'm changing at bit. I mean I finally have a friend, and a really good one at that. Nick is the best, we've just been really close, just don't ask me why I always seem to get butterflies in my stomach when he's around, because I don't know. He just makes me feel, normal, and like no matter how bad things are, that they can get better.

"Hey Stewart." Nick said walking out the door to their now usual lunch spot on the bleachers.

"Hey Gray." Miley smiled, a real actual smile.

"So, um what's up?" Nick asked rubbing the back of his neck, that being his nervous habit.

"The sky, what about you?" Miley said smiling, as they sat down on the quiet bleachers.

"I, um, I have a question to ask you." Nick stuttered.

"Ok, shoot."

"I, um, I, look we're really great friends, but I think I like you more then that, and I um was wondering if you'd go out to the movies with me? Tonight?" Nick stuttered through the whole thing then looked down to nervous to see her reaction. This was new to him, he almost never got nervous around girls, but something about Miley made Nick's heart leap out of his chest every time they were together.

"Like a date?" Miley asked unsure.  
"If you want it to be." Nick looked up again at Miley.

"It's a date," Miley smiled at Nick, who returned the jester.

"Pick you up at seven?"

"Um, actually can I meet you there?" Miley asked as thoughts of her Dad flashed through her head.

"Ok, perfect." Nick smiled, as the two teens finished their lunch.

The rest of the day was honestly a blur after lunch. I just can't believe that I have a date with Nick Gray. Ok I know it sounds weird but I am so excited, I actually feel like a normal teen anger, going home from school smiling, getting ready for a date. It just like bringing me back to before my Mom left.

I decided that I am going to get ready and be out of the house by five, right before my Dad gets home from the bar that he goes to with his buddies. Then I'll just hang out at Movie Theater until Nick gets there, and then just try to sneak back into the house after the dates over. Sure it's not fool proof, but I have a feeling that this date will all be worth it.

-~-~-~-

Nick and Miley met up like always in the parking lot after school so he could drive her home. It was sort of like an unspoken routine that they did, but neither was complaining.

"So, I was thinking we'd see a movie. If that's alright of course." Nick said as they drove down a small suburban street.

"Sounds great. What movie?"

"I don't know, it's all up to you." Nick smiled at Miley for a moment, then turned his attention back to the road.

"um, how about something scary?"

"I heard The Invited (A/n: legal) was really good and scary."

"Perfect." Miley said as they came closer to her house.

"So, I'll see you tonight then?" Nick asked as Miley unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Yeah, I can't wait." Miley smiled jumping out of the car and onto the pavement. Nick smiled and drove off as Miley hurried into her house to get changed before her Dad came home.

She ran up to her room on the second floor of the house quickly dropping all of her books by her bed and locking her door out of habit. She then went over to her bathroom and took a quick shower, shaving her legs and washing her hair.

Once she was done she looked down to see her battered body, lined with bruises and scars. She cringed at the memory each scar brought back, then quickly grabbed a towel wrapping her self in it.

She pulled out her curling iron and plugged it in waiting for it to heat up. Then Miley walked back out into her room and dug out her favorite blue jeans that fit her absolutely perfectly, and her old Beatles that she'd had for years, it being her favorite shirt.

Soon Miley was back in her bathroom fully dressed and hair fully dried. Miley took the curling iron up to her hair and started to curl it all to perfection.

After two hours Miley was completely ready and the house was completely clean. Miley grabbed her purse and went back to her room, locking the door behind her she climbed out the second story window and used the near by tree to get to the ground.

Once Miley's feet hit the grass she started running far away from her house in the direction of the movie theater, she couldn't risk her Dad coming home early and seeing her. She knew she'd be in huge trouble and he wouldn't be happy, at all.

-~-~-~-

Miley glanced down at her watch, seven o'clock on the dot. She was waiting at the theater for the past few hours, she did everything she could to make it look like she just arrived, she didn't want to give Nick any reason to be suspious.

"Hey, you're here." Nick called out from behind Miley making her jump.

"Yeah, and what, do you get enjoyment of popping out of corners all the time!?" Miley asked trying to be mad at Nick.

Nick just laughed in response, "Kind of, Come one lets, go. The movie starts in ten. I already got us tickets."

"ok, ok." Miley smiled as they walked over to the ticket collector guy and Nick passed him both tickets.

Soon enough Miley and Nick were seated in the dark movie theater with a bag of popcorn and some candy. As the movie began Nick looked somewhat nervous and deep in thought, contemplating his next move.

The movie was scarier then both teens bargained for, there was tons of blood and suspense that had the whole theater screaming. All of the sudden a person with a knife popped out of know where and Miley and Nick both jumped, Miley hiding her head in Nick's chest.

Nick smiled a lopsided boyish smile and wrapped his arm around her, and although he couldn't see it, Miley's face was brought up into a smile that mirrored Nick's.

-~-~-~-

After the movie was over Nick kept his hand around Miley's shoulder as they walked out of the theater and into the night. It was nine o'clock and the weather was perfect, not too hot and not too cold.

Nick looked over at Miley and smiled, "Why are you looking at me like that Gray?"

"Nothing Stewart, but do you want to go take a walk on the beach? It's only a few minutes away."

Miley glanced at her watch and saw the time. She figured that she was going to be in trouble either way so why not enjoy her time now. "Sure, why not."

Nick and Miley both had matching big smiles on their faces as they got into Nick's car and headed to the beach.

In the car Allison by Elvis Costello started playing. Instantly Miley turned up the radio and started to sing along.

"You're a Costello fan?" Nick asked in shock, it wasn't every day that you meet a Costello fan that's 16.

"Oh yeah. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him!" Miley gushed and continued to sing along.

Nick laughed and sang along with her, they both knew every word and the song just fit them perfectly. By the time it was over they arrived at the beach.

"I had no idea you could sing that good." Nick said as they both got out and started walking on the beach.

"Same goes for you! How come you never told me you could sing?" Miley asked as the got down to the ocean and started walking across the beach.

"You never asked." Nick smiled.

"Meanie!" Miley laughed as her toes sunk into the sand with each step.

"Ok, so want to play twenty questions?" Nick asked Miley.

"Sure, you first." Miley smiled.

"Ok, Are you having a god time so far tonight." Nick asked looking at Miley.

"The best." Miley smiled and then continued, "Um, did you like the movie?"

"eh, ok not going to lie, it scared the crap out of me." Nick said making both Miley and Nick start laughing.

"Good cause I'm scared too." Miley smiled.

"Good, so um, can I, can I kiss you?" Nick asked shyly looking Miley in the eyes.

Miley got on her toes and softly placed her lips on Nick's. Nick was surprised at first but quickly kissed back. The passion and the feelings brought into the kiss were so intense that the kiss automatically deepened. Both were caught in a knee weakening moment, and neither wanted it to be over.

When oxygen became a need, Miley gently pulled back, biting her lip softly. "Does that answer your question?"

"Yes, yes it does." Nick smiled, and at that moment everything seemed right.

A/n: or does it? Since when have I been know to keep things happy for too long? That's what I thought. Ha ha. Anyway next chapter will be out in exactly a week so be prepared for DRAMA!!

Love you and would LOVE a review!!


	9. Chapter Eight

A/N: Hey guys, last chapter until I come home! If you don't know already, I'm at overnight camp so my friend Dreaminggurl07 is posting for me until I come home, I pre-wrote all of the chapters btw.

After Nick and Miley kissed all either of them could do was smile as they walked back to Nick's car. Nick's arm was round Miley's waste and Miley was leaning into Nick's chest, it was just, right.

They pulled up onto Miley's street and Miley gulped. She was no doubt afraid of what awaited her on the other side of that door, she just could hope that she could get by her dad without him noticing.

"Thanks Nick, I had an amazing time." Miley smiled unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Thank you too. You're amazing Miley." Nick smiled pulling Miley into another passionate kiss. This time so much feeling was put into it, that I could of sworn that the windows fogged up.

Both teens pulled away with goofy smiles as Miley opened the door and walked up the path to her house.

~-~-~-

Nick drove away, the smile still on his face. Once Nick was out of view Miley too a deep breathe and opened up the door.

"MILEY YOU AWFUL **! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" Billy slurred getting off the couch and instantly grabbing Miley's neck. He lifted her head roughly and cut off her air circulation.

Miley squirmed and tried to yelp but nothing worked. Right before she passed out completely, Billy dropped her and started kicking her with all of his might. Miley choked trying to get her breath back to normal but the constant kicking made that hard.

Billy stopped for a minute and left the room. Miley thought this was her chance, so she started crawling over to the steps, but before she could get more then two feet away Billy came out of no where and stepped on Miley's wrist.

Satisfied with the cracking sound I made Billy smiled, and Miley cried out in pain from her now shattered wrist.

"SHUT UP!" Billy said, it was then that Miley noticed the metal baseball bat Billy had in his hand. He brought it down on her back over twenty times before Miley went limp with pain.

But Billy wasn't satisfied yet. He wanted Miley to pay for what he had in his mind that she did. He grabbed her by her legs and pulled her to him.

Miley didn't ever fight back this time, she just laid there and took it. Billy made Miley stand up on her shaky feet and then grabbed her now broken wrist and pulled it behind her back.

It hurt so bad that Miley couldn't help but let out a scream, "AHH!!! STOP YOU'RE HURTING ME!"

"YOU **! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK!"

Billy was so infuriated that he ripped Miley's hair and took her head, smashing it into a glass table repeatedly.

The table broke to pieces underneath Miley, due to the harsh impact. Miley was passed out, and far into unconsciousness by that point. Billy just released Miley's hair letting her drop onto the bed of glass.

Miley's body involuntarily flinched causing Billy to let out a deep harsh laugh. He then grabbed his coat and left the house to go to some bar.

Miley just laid, there not moving the whole night and stayed there through the whole school day.

Billy didn't come back home that night, leaving Miley to her pain on the living room floor. But the next day in Bio class sat one worried sixteen year old boy, without a lab partner.

A/N: I know sad right. Well I was in a crappy mood when I wrote this, sorry it's short, I have good ideas for the next chapter, promise :D

Love it if you'd REVIEW!!


	10. Chapter Nine

**A/n: oh my readers how I've missed you all. It's been terrible without you and I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long, I'm SO truly sorry! But I won't waste time, enjoy the chapter :D**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Italics are Miley's journal writing.**

_I woke up to an empty house this morning with only the pain to greet me. I looked at the clock; I was out cold for at least twenty-four hours, missing a day of school. The bruises this time weren't going to be as easy to cover, they completely masked my whole body, turning me black and blue. My face didn't even look like my face anymore, I guess if someone hits hard enough, they can actually rearrange your face. _

_The worse though, had to be the pain in my arm. It was my left arm, and it was now bent out and a funny angle. I could tell right away it was broken, without even having to remember last night's events. God was last night terrible, and now I cant even get an x-ray for my arm, no hospital would be stupid enough to buy my act, they'd know from the bruises that something wasn't write, but no one can know. _

_When I got the chance to look at my phone, there were ten missed calls from Nick. I guess he was worried. I feel bad for liking him, no guy should like a girl that comes with this much baggage, but I didn't stop him, and I'm just too selfish to try. _

_Nick was the good thing in my life right now, the only good thing. Everything else hurt, everything else in life caused pain. Am I stupid to believe and to hope that Nick wont cause me pain? Probably, but he's a pain worth aching. _

-XoxoX-

_It took two hours, two things of cover up, and my best long sleeve T-shirt, but I finally looked human again, at least human enough to go to school. So I did. _

_When I was walking down the halls I felt like even more of an alien then before. No one got it, and I didn't get them. Their biggest problem is that their parents won't let them go the rap concert, my problem; I have a parent that wishes me dead. _

Miley slid into her bio seat, she was the first one there, and after writing a bit in her black and white notebook she shut the cover and dazed out looking out the window.

Nick walked into the classroom, his face noticeably lifting as he recognized the girl in the black shirt, Miley.

"Mr. Gray, if you'd take your seat we could start." The teacher said entering the room.

Nick did as he was told, taking his normal set behind Miley's chair and pulling out his binder. Before the teacher even wrote the first line of notes out on the board, Nick scribbled a note on paper and gave it to Miley.

**Nick: Where were you yesterday? :[**

**Miley: It was the anniversary of my grandmother's death; my dad wanted us to spend time as a family.**

**Nick: Oh, I'm so sorry Miley.**

**Miley: It's okay, I missed you though.**

**Nick: I missed you too.**

**Miley: Bleachers today for lunch?**

**Nick: Wouldn't miss it for the world**

**-**XoxoX-

The two teenagers were smitten, blinded by infatuation, even though it was much more then that. They might have realized it and they might not of, but Nick and Miley were falling for each other as fast as humanly possible. The infatuation came in, in the sense that they were willing to ignore all consequences all, risks, all everything, just to be together.

The sun beamed down onto the football field as the wind whistled with emptiness. The only two people in sight were Nick and Miley making their way to the bleachers, hand in hand.

They both sat in their now usual places, the difference being that Nick's arm was now wrapped around Miley's waist and Miley's head seemed to droop onto his shoulder.

"So, did I miss anything yesterday?" Miley asked taking a bite out of Nick's sandwich that they were sharing.

"Just me missing you incredibly." Nick said smiling at her.

Miley swallowed and looked up at Nick, "you're so cheesy." She said with a smile.

"Hey!" Nick said in a mock-offended voice.

"And that's why I like you so much." Miley said then placed her lips on his softly.

When the two teens pulled apart, both of their faces were painted with the same sloppy, smile. Anyone who looked, could tell that the both of shared the same deep feelings for one another. It was perfect, in every imperfect way possible.

**-**XoxoX-

_I plopped into my seat for math, people were looking at me. Was it really that odd to see me happy like this? Yes, I guess it was ever since the beginning of the year. _

_So things have changed, then changed again, does that give people the right to stare at me like I grew another head? Well I guess in their heads it does. God I have to stop answering my own questions like this. _

_The teacher drones on, glancing around the room, it's clear that he's lost the interest of all my classmates. Everyone's either day dreaming, doodling, or sleeping. Poor teachers, do you think they realize how boring they can be? Yes probably. Gosh! Not again!_

_I sit here thinking, I guess the reason for my change in mood, (going back to that and all), would have to be all because of Nick. I can't explain it, but when I'm with him, it feels like the rest of the world doesn't matter. Like my dad isn't there, and things are just normal. I feel like I'm unbreakable, which is the most amazing feeling. Anyone who's ever dealt with a monster like him _can tell you, feeling breakable is the worst feeling ever. If you can find something that makes you feel indestructible once again, you don't let it slip away. And no way was I letting Nick slip away.

-XoXoX-

Miley emerged from the towering school and into the parking lot, just like every other day. Miley's eyes scanned the rows of cars looking for her usual ride home until her eyes finally rested upon Nick.

Nick was walking towards her, car keys in hand, with a huge grin etched across his face.

"What's got you so happy Gray?" Miley asked.

"Oh nothing, just wondering if you needed a ride home?" Nick said now closer to Miley.

"That would be great." Miley's face stretched into a smile to match Nick's as they walked to his car.

"So, are we working on the project today?" Nick asked after they were both settled into their seats and on the road.

"No, I really have to get home. My Dad a terrible cook and cant really manage without me." The lie was thin, and ill thought out, but the teenage male was too blinded by infatuation to notice. Ah, first loves.

"Okay, so to your house we go." Nick said making a left down the winding suburban road.

After that the two just seemed to settle into a comfortable silence, that most wouldn't be able to understand. It was like a million words were being said without a single symbol being uttered. It was strange, and just not normal, but neither was their relationship. They had no label on what they were at the moment, yet both seemed to be content with that. They were so different that some how it just worked. Who ever said opposites attract, they sure were onto something.

The car pulled to a stop outside of a small brick house as Miley reached out for her bag. "Thanks Nick, I'll see you tomorrow I guess."

"Yeah, I'll see you then." Nick said, not hesitating to pull her head to his and kiss her passionately.

Both pulled away when air became a necessity. Both had matching grins and blushed cheeks, much like the morning before. Miley gave Nick one last smile before sliding out of the car and onto the sidewalk.

-XoXoX-

Much like everyday before, Miley waited for Nick to turn the corner before turning the doorknob and walking inside. It took a total of sixty seconds before Miley noticed her dad sitting in the living room, sprawled out on the couch, beer in hand.

"Oh, um hey dad." Miley said inching to the steps in a feeble attempt to get away.

"WHERE WERE YOU?" He asked moving from his chair and wasting no time crossing the floor to get to Miley.

"I'm sorry dad, I was at school." Miley started pleading for him to release her hair that he had just taken hold of.

"SORRY? SORRY! YOU'RE THE REASON YOUR DUMB SLUT OF A MOTHER LEFT ME AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS SORRY? OH I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SORRY!"

Miley didn't know what came over her, but Billy had hit a nerve in bringing up her mother. Miley made the mistake of letting her emotions get the better of her, and let of a strangled sob.

Billy showed no remorse as his fist collided with Miley's stomach, no doubt staining it with black and blue. After the fourth hit, Billy got distracted and dropped Miley's limp body onto the floor.

He ripped his jacket from the coat rack and slammed the door on his way out. Miley just sat there for a minute, watching the door. Waiting for him to come back. He didn't.

-XoXoX-

_I sit with my knees curled to my chest and my back resting against my bedpost. He had left without a word, to a strip club, no doubt. But some how all I could hear in my head was his voice, blaming me for all that has happened. He's right, it is my fault mom left. It's my fault that Jackson doesn't call, or that I have no friends in an exception to Nick. It' my entire fault._

_I glance around the blue walls of my room, and then my eyes rest on the window just as thunder cracks and lightening strikes._

_My worst fear isn't my father, or someone finding out. My worst fear isn't of making myself vulnerable. My worst fear was thunder._

_Thunder scared me because it made me vulnerable, it made the most painful memories come to life within my head. It torched me._

_Thunder made me deaf to everything but the vivid memories of past beatings. All I could hear was his words, blaming me, undermining me, hurting me. _

_It was too much to take, too much to swallow. I was no longer safe within my own head. I needed to escape my thoughts, to escape myself. And the only solution that comes to mind is, Nick. _

_I don't give a second thought; I pull out an old sweatshirt and pull it over my head. Nick's the only person who's ever given me a chance to forget, to escape. I need _him. I need him, the way that some people need air at the moment.

-XoXoX-

Miley's feet hammered at the soaking wet pavement as she passed house after house at a run. If she were to stop, she would be shaking. Her fear for the storm was noticeable, every time thunder cracked, she would wince, but keep going.

Before long she mad it to her destination, a mention sized old house. Miley slowed and took a breath, just looking at the house. Then she crossed the grass to the window on the right side of the building.

Miley didn't hesitate to pick out a few rocks and start hammering at one of the windows. She was terrified. Miley needed Nick, things were becoming too much, and the thunder didn't let up.

After five minutes of consistent rock throwing, Nick's head emerged from the window. His hair was ruffled, like he was just awoken from a deep sleep, but his eyes showed confusion as they landed on the girl standing below his window. He didn't say a word, but he motioned for her to come in through the front door.

The minute Miley's skin came in contact with the warm air, her shaking stopped. Nick didn't ask questions, he knew that there would be time for that later, instead he just reached out and pulled Miley tightly to his chest.

"I'm sorry…" Miley shook, silently crying in his arms.

They stayed like that for a while. Miley tightly wrapped in Nick's arms repeating the words, "I'm sorry" over and over again. Nick just kissed her hair and held her tighter.

Possibly it was then when realization hit, they were in this battle called life together now. Weather they liked it or not, there was no turning back, they both cared too much.

**A/n: So am I extremely rusty? Cause I haven't written this story in FOREVER! And I'm SO SO SO SO sorry about that! **

**Doesn't the ending just make you want to go, "aw."? : D**

**Although this chapter seemed very filler-like it's going to be important later, I promise :D**

**Thank you so much for nominating me for the NJK awards! You guys are AMAZING!!!!**

**I hope you liked it, and I've LOVE it if you reviewed, it would mean a LOT!**

**It's good to be back, **

**XoXo**

**TheHeartNeverLies442**


	11. Chapter Ten

**A/n: Hello there my lovely readers, I missed you guys :D**

Miley slid back into the old house, careful not to allow the branch from underneath her feet give way and makes noise. She counted on pure luck and the fact that God owed her _something_ at this point to get her into the house safely. For once He answered her prayers.

She glanced at the clock, the numbers blurred from the fog of sleep that still clung to her brain. She moved quietly through the house. She was so numb after all these years, that the bruises that laced her skin didn't even phase her as she replaced one of Nick's old shirts with a black long sleeved thermal shirt and a plain white shirt over top.

Miley walks around the house slowly emptying half drunken bear bottles into the sink and disposing of the glass. She shutters as vivid memories of being slammed into glass tables enter her mind.

With a start she looks down at her vibrating phone. It's Nick, it's always Nick, no one else texts her.

**Nick: Hey do u want a ride?**

**Miley: nah, I'll c u at school**

Miley slides her phone back into her pocket and heads for the door. Her converse pad the sidewalk as the school comes into view. A deep breath leaves her mouth as she adjusts her weight to push the heavy high school door open.

Nick's at her locker, obviously waiting for Miley. In spite of herself, Miley smiles.

"Hey you, why didn't you let me drive you?" Nick said as she starts to unpack her books.

"I just felt like walking today, it was too nice of a day to waste in a car." Miley smiled, a fake smile, but a damn good fake smile at that.

Nick just nods, and opens his mouth, "I—" the bell sounded cutting him off mid word, but Miley silently thanked heavens for the distraction.

Miley reached up and left a peck on his cheek before leaving him standing in the almost empty hall way as she walked to English. He'd never understand her.

_I slept at Nick's last night. We didn't do anything, barely even kissed. He just held me, helped me to forget the terrors created by my own mind. It didn't matter last night. Nothing mattered, not my dad, or my brother, or even the thunder outside. All that mattered was how safe I felt in his arms, Nick's arms. _

_I'm stupid though, SO stupid. How can I be falling for someone so great? I don't deserve him; he deserves better then me, an abused, home wrecking, and piece of trash. But I can't let him go. Not now. I'm too terrifyingly dependant on him. I need the protection he brings. I need to feel the safeness that I only feel in his arms. I need it like air. I __**need**__ him like air. And it scares me._

_It's terrifying to be this dependant again. But I can't help it. Nor do I want to. _

The lunch bell soon rang, pulling Miley from her journal. She tucked it into her locker, twisted the lock a few times and headed for the fields.

Nick was already there. Stilling on the bleachers, effortlessly looking perfect. He smiles as she comes into his view. Squinting from the harsh sunlight he stands to embrace her.

"Hey you." His arms wrap around her waist gently.

"Hey."

"What's on your mind?" Nick asks quizzically

"I was thinking, maybe we could, I don't know. Eat inside today? In the cafeteria?" Miley disconnected her eyes from his and looked away.

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just thought we could for a change." Miley looked up through her eyelashes at Nick's face.

"I think that's a great idea. Come on." Nick smiled revealing teeth so perfect that they had to be the work on braces. He laced his fingers through her smaller ones and led them back to the building.

Nick guides the way through the crowded room effortlessly. Miley forgot how hectic the cafeteria could be. Its been more then a while since she's stepped foot in the room.

A few heads turn to look at them as they walk casually over to a table populated by a mixture of Nick's friends, and Miley's old friends. Miley hasn't talked to most of them since last year. She purposely blocked herself off from her old life. Leaving everything and everyone behind.

Nick and Miley slide into the last two empty adjacent seats, never breaking the contact of their joined hands.

"Hey guys." Nick smiled at the group. A few of Miley's old friends seemed shell shocked at first, but decided against saying anything and acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Hey, what's up Nick?" A bulkier guy from the left of Miley asked.

"Nothing really Tyler, you?"

"Eh, same old, same old."

"That and Tyler was just informing us of how much of a badass he is because he took his mom's car for a joy ride last week and got arrested." A petite girl with jet-black hair said rolling her eyes. Her name is Demi, she use to be Miley's best friend.

Nick laughed. "Dude, how did I not know about this?"

"You've been a little distant lately Lover boy." Another guy teased from across the table. His name was Kyle; Miley had known him since preschool.

"Yeah dude, I guess you're the reason for that, huh Miley?" Tyler said looking at Miley with a smile in his eyes.

"Yeah Miley. Stealing our boy away here." A boy named Trevor teased with a wry smile.

"I guess so. Sorry boys." Miley said softly with a sheepish looking smile.

The whole table chuckled as Miley shrugged her shoulders. Nick leaned down to whisper in Miley's ear, "Steal me away anytime you like, I'm not objecting." Nick planted a quick kiss on Miley's lips before leaning back into his seat.

The rest of the table wolf whistled and laughed while Miley blushed for the first time in a _long _time and smiled a genuine smile. Nick just had that effect of her.

"Hey Sarah, you're awfully quiet over there. You okay?" Kyle inquired at a small looking blonde girl sitting at the end of the table. Miley barely noticed her at first. Sarah was new that year, Miley wondered if she and Sarah would have been friends if she didn't close herself off at the start of the semester.

"I hate school." Sarah protested laying her head on the table.

"Sarah wants to get into the med program at Yale so she's been studying her brains out all year." Tyler explained to Miley.

"So many tests." Sarah groaned. "I've changed my mind, I want to be a clown and go to clown college so I don't have to worry about my freaking SAT scores every freaking minute of the day."

"You're terrified of clowns Sarah." Demi pointed out smiling at her friend's expense.

"I don't care." Sarah huffed, earning a laugh from everyone at the table.

"So how about you Nick? What's up ahead in your future?" Demi questioned.

"I've kind of always wanted to be a singer song writer." Nick shrugged.

"I didn't know you write songs." Miley looked at Nick.

"Eh, I started writing a few years back as an outlet to burn off some steam. It just kind of stuck after that." Nick smiled at Miley.

"What about you? You carry around that journal all of the time. Do you want to be a writer?" Kyle asked Miley.

"Sometimes I do. I'm not positive yet about what I want to do, but I'd love to be a writer."

"I bet you'd be great at it." Demi smiled at Miley and it felt just like old times. Like Miley's mother never left. Like Jackson never moved out. Like the demons that posses Miley's dad never surfaced. It felt just like last year, when Miley's cares centered around nail polish and boy bands. It felt amazing. Then the bell rang.

**A/n: I'm back! I just opened up a word doc and the words just flowed out like they use to. It felt **_**so **_**good! I forgot how much I loved writing, and I'm so glad that some of you suck around and helped me realize that this is what I love. **

**I'm sorry that this is a little shorter then usual. But I'm starting the next one right now! :D haha **

**REVIEW please! And have an amazing Halloween! **


	12. Chapter Eleven

A/N: **Told you I wouldn't be gone too long :] Miss me anyways? Love you guys and enjoy this chapter. I'm determined to write this book and finish it. Absolutely determined.**

**ANYWAYS, this ones a shot fluffy one. Good way too kick off the weekend eh?**

_Things are changing. __**I'm **__changing. I've gone two whole days without writing in this journal. It felt oddly freeing, liberating even. Nick is great. I never thought that I'd be "That Girl", the one who falls head over heals for the cute boy in high school, but man I'm not complaining. I eat with his friends every day at lunch, my old friends. And it's not weird. Not the way I thought it would be. It feels like I'm normal. Like there's no monster waiting for me at home, like there's nothing scary out there in the world waiting for me. It's a good feeling. _

_Things are just great at school, at home however… He's not stopping, he's not quitting, and he's only growing stronger. I think I can finally admit it; I'm scared. _

"MILEY RAY YOU SLUT! YOU'RE A FREAKING BITCH JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER WAS! YOU DON'T DESEVE THIS ROOF I'VE PUT OVER YOUR HEAD. YOU DESERVE NOTHING YOU DUMB ASS WHORE!" Billy was flaming mad. His cheeks burned with angry fire. Tonight was no good night.

Billy's fist came in harsh, brutal contact with Miley's cheek. He moved his hand back, wound up, and punched again. And again, and again.

"YOUR DON'T DESERVE TO BE HERE, TO BE ALIVE!" He gripped her hair and yanked. Miley let out a strangled scream as she felt fire in the roots of her hair. The pain was worse then usual. Almost unbearable.

Miley tried to recoil, to maker herself smaller, she could not **believe** she screamed. Bad idea.

Billy looked her straight in the eye. Glaring, bold, and full of anger. He took one look at her, closed his lips and spit right on Miley's face.

"Hey you!" Nick pinched Miley's sides, coming up from behind her.

Miley jumped slightly then turned around. She was getting use to Nick's playful greetings. She was getting comfortable in this new life.

"Hey, you scared me!" Miley playfully slapped Nick's shoulder.

"Watch it women! You hurt." Nick said mockingly rubbing his arm.

"Aw, I'm sorry. How can I make it better?"

"Kiss it?" Nick smiled innocently.

Miley rolled her eyes and kissed his shoulder gently. "Better?"

"Much, but my lips hurt a bit too."

Miley giggled and went to pecked Nick on the lips. Nick wasn't having the short kiss however. He slowly wrapped his arms around Miley's waist, pulling her close. He tenderly pressed his lips to hers in a soft but sweet kiss. They both melted into the tingling sensation filling their guts. That was until they heard wolf whistles from down the hall.

"Get it Nick!" Miley jumped back to see Tyler and Kyle making their way down the hall.

Tyler and Kyle fist bumped Nick and gave Miley a quick hug.

"I hate you guys, you know that right?" Nick said leaning against the locker next to Miley.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Tyler waved Nick off.

"You're just jealous because Miley likes us better." Kyle smiled, slinging his arm around Miley's shoulder.

"So that's why she was kissing me when you two idiots interrupted us?"

"Oh she's just confused right now. She'll come to her senses soon enough and realize that she loves me the most." Tyler gave a wry smile.

"And that's where you're wrong my friend. We all know Miley likes me the most. Right Miley?" Kyle said turning to Miley's blushing face.

"Alright, alright. Can we please stop fighting over _my _girlfriend." Nick said coming to Miley's rescue.

"Yes, please?" Miley said burring her blushing face into Kyle's sweatshirt.

"But you're so cute when you blush." Tyler whined.

"Go away Tyler." Miley mumbled.

"Yeah, Tyler listens to the lady. You too Kyle." Nick smirked pushing his friends away.

"You're no fun." Kyle and Tyler whined backing away from Miley.

"Sorry." Nick shrugged wrapping his arms around Miley.

"See you guys at lunch." Miley called.

"You got it sweetheart." Tyler smiled.

"My friends are idiots." Nick said into Miley's hair.

"Funny, entertaining idiots." Miley smiled.

"God I love your smile." Nick said shutting his eyes breathing in Miley's strawberry shampoo.

Miley leaned into Nick's strong arms. She felt safe there. Safer then she's ever felt. Even the class bell ringing no longer phased her.

Nick kissed Miley's cheek, "common, I'll walk you too class."

_You know how I said Nick was great? Scratch that, he's amazing. He's actually perfect. _

"Miles? Can I ask you something?" Nick said softly as they met up on their way history class.

"Yeah, anything." Miley smiled as they made their way down the halls.

"I saw something this morning."

"Saw what?"

"Miley, why do you have a bruise on your hip?" Nick said quickly making eye contact with Miley.

Miley faltered. This was not happening. "What do you mean?"

"On your hip. There's a bruise. When you were hugging Kyle this morning, your shirt lifted up. I wasn't sure. But then I saw it again. Miles, are you okay?" Nick looked genuinely concerned and upset, looking into Miley's dark blue eyes.

"Nick, it's nothing." Miley smiled softly, reaching out to touch his arm. "I bumped my hip on the counter in my kitchen last night. I was trying to get dinner ready for my dad and I, and like a klutz, I banged my hip on the counter."

"Really?" Nick asked, not looking all too convinced.

"Yes Nick. Really." Miley said looking into Nick's eyes. It was scary how well she could lie.

"Okay, If you say so Miley. I'm just worried about you sometimes. I can't help it." Nick said kissing Miley's cheek softly.

"It's alright. Come on we're going to be late." Miley said and began to pick up her pace.

"Wait, Miley."

"Yeah?"

"I think you're amazing. And I've been trying to say this all day, but things, Kyle and Tyler, kept getting in the way." Nick fiddled with his jacket zipper.

"What is it Nick?"

"I love you Miley."

**A/n: Short and sweet. Man I love Nick, haha. **

**Have a great weekend everybody. And don't forget to REVIEW!**


	13. Chapter Twelve

**A/n: Hey guys! Sorry I took the last couple of weeks off from writing, there was just too much stuff going on, but I'm back now. And it's officially winter break! Yay! So lets hope for some more chapters for the holidays!**

**Sorry this one is short. **

Miley faltered for a moment. Love? Love was dangerous. Love was scary. Love was terrifying. Miley started to go into panic mode, her blue eyes went wide and her lips parted ever so slightly.

"You're hesitating. It's okay, you don't have to say it. I just wanted to tell you how I feel, but it was stupid. I'm moving too fast and it's not fair to you. God, I'm an idiot, I'm so sorry. I just—" Nick's nervous rant was cut off by Miley getting on her tip toes and firmly panting a passion filled kiss on Nick's lips.

Life was scary, and the only one that's ever made Miley feel so safe is Nick. Love might be scary, but love with Nick would it be worth it?

It took Nick a minute to process the situation before he melted completely into the kiss wrapping his arms lovingly around Miley's waist and pulling her closer.

Minutes passed before the couple came up for air. Miley smiled, biting her lip while Nick looked confused. "So does that mean-?"

"Look Nick. You're the best thing that has ever happen to me. You really are. But right now I'm still a bit broken. Healing, thanks to you, but still broken. I can't tell you that I love you right now. But I know for sure that if you give me a bit more time I'll be able to say it and really mean it. This is just a bit too fast for me."

Nick's face went blank slowly as he registered her words.

"I'm so sorry because you're great you really are. I'm just not ready to be loved right now, but when I am, I don't want to be loved by any else but you. I'm so so sorry."

Nick too a deep breath. "It's okay. You're not ready and I rushed you. If you're not ready right now then that's okay, I'll wait happily until you are."

"Really?"

"Yes, really Miley Ray." Nick smiled and planted a kiss on Miley's lips.

"Now come on, let's go to lunch."

And just like that, hand and hand they enter the buzzing cafeteria and made their way to the table of their friends.

"Pay up." Kyle said with a smirk.

"What?" Miley questioned settling down into the seat next to Demi.

"Fine, here's your money." Tyler grunted handing over two twenty dollar bills as Demi reached into her pocket for her money.

"Money?" Nick looked at his friends confused.

"We made a bet about how long it would take for you to tell Miley that you love her." Demi said taking a bite of her sandwich.

"And I won. Told you Tyler, Nick's not one to wait on it."

"Shut up. I was second closest anyway. Demi said he'd wait at least another week."

"You guys were betting on us?" Miley asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"Duh. I mean really Miley, what were you expecting us to do?" Kyle smiled counting his newfound income.

"Guys really? Do you really have to freak her out?" Nick looked annoyed at his friend's antics.

"Freak me out? Are you kidding? I think it's hilarious." Miley smiled.

"That's our girl." Tyler laughed and high fived Miley.

"You're really not freaked by this?" Nick look skeptical.

"Come on. I knew when I said yes to going out with you that your friends were apart of the deal. Now they're my friends too. I was expecting something like this. I'm just surprised you weren't."

Nick just rolled his eyes and kissed the side of Miley's head.

"Ew! PDA! Gross." Tyler and Kyle jeered.

"Oh come on. Let them be." Demi smiled and then turned to Miley. "Hey, there's a party tonight on my block. Do you want to come?"

"Really?" Miley questioned. "You're inviting me to a party?"

"Yeah. You can come over my house before and we can get ready together. I'll be fun."

When Miley hesitated Nick leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Go, it'll be fun and I'll meet you there."

"Alright, I guess that sounds good." Miley smiled nervously.

"Great! I'll be SO much fun! Come over at like 5ish and we can get ready at my house." Demi smiled widely.

"Sounds great." Miley smiled.

_Okay, so I know that parties aren't really my thing but I'm turning over a new leaf and I got to start somewhere. No more scared loaner Miley. This new Miley has friends and a boy friend. This new Miley is going to be fearless no matter how scary that thought might be. I'm determined to go to this party and have a good time. Who cares what happens to me when I get home. The drunk hasn't even been at that house for the past few days. I'll be alright. _

"So exactly how did he tell you that he loves you?" Demi inquired as the two teenagers sat on her fluffy pink bed.

Miley blushed. "He just seemed really nervous all day and then Kyle and Tyler kept on getting in the way so he just kind of ended up blurting it out in the hallway."

Demi laughed. "Classic Nick. He's never been all that great with words. Feeling? Yes. Words? not so much."

Miley giggled. "Yeah, but he really is great."

"So you never told me what you said."

"Oh, I um told him I needed more time. I really do think that I could love him, but I just don't think I'm ready for that step yet. I'm broken and Nick deserves someone who's able to figure this crap out. I'm just not sure If I'm that someone."

"Well for what it's worth. I think you are Nick's someone. Nick's a happy, lively person. He's always been that way, but since he's been with you he's been different. He's been alive, like really alive. He's changed for the better since he's been with you. You are his someone and trust me, you'll be able to figure this stuff out."

"You really think so?"

"Of course, if he's willing to wait around for you, then he's worth it."

"But what if I'm not able to tell him back. What if I don't know when I've actually fallen for him?"

"You'll know."

"Really?"

"Yes, you'll know and if you need any help, I'll be right here."

"You will?"

"Yeah, duh. That's what friends do."

Miley looked a bit taken back by the use of the word friend. That word hadn't applied to her in so long.

"You are my friend right? Cause I mean I don't share my clothes and make up with just anyone." Demi smiled.

"Yes, I'll be your friend." Miley smiled at Demi.

"Good." Demi sat up and walked to her dresser and pulled out a blue crop top. "Now come on, time to get ready. Let's make Nick drool." Demi smiled mischievously.

"I'm not so sure."

"Come on, trust me. We're friends after all."

And for the first time Miley truly let someone other then Nick in. She had a friend. A real actual girl friend to paint nails with and gossip about boys with. A real friend.

**A/n: I know so short and very filler-y and corny. But I just wanted to get something out there. Next chapter is the party and some more fluff, then we get back to serious. Please review. I'm gonna post again ASAP! Love you all and Merry (early) Christmas. **


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**A/n: Hey guys! Well I'm still alive. Haha I know it's been awhile again and I hate that. Life has just been hectic and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon. Summer maybe? I'm towards the end of volleyball season and then Crew starts up for the spring, but I'll have like a month in between. I'm really trying guys, just know that I haven't forgotten about any of you. I love you now and forever. **

**Warning, this maybe the last truly sweet and sappy chapter, love it while you can. **

_It feels like it's been forever since I've written it here. I guess I no longer have as much pent up frustration. Sure my monster of a father is still here, but what else is new? Nick and Demi, well I finally feel okay, happy even, when I'm around them. It's a great feeling. I'm actually going to a party tonight. A party! Speaking of which, I got to go, Demi just finished in the bathroom. Wish me luck tonight!_

"Alright, ready to rock and roll Miley?" Demi asked grabbing her jean jacket from the pink fluffy chair in the corner. Demi was dressed to impress. Her legs were in closed in a pair of shiny, skintight black leggings, while her feet rested in a pair of low healed boots. She was wearing a gold sparkly tank top that showed just the right amount of cleavage and a dark jean jacket to cap of the outfit.

"Yes. You look amazing Demi." Miley said closing her black and white notebook and slowly getting off Demi's bed. The bruises were still sore under the layers of makeup.

"Me? You look drop dead gorgeous. Nick will _die_ when he see you." Demi smiled at her work. Demi had gotten Miley to put on short black shorts and a black tank under a longish gray shirt with cut sleeves and a silver belt at the waist. Miley borrowed Demi's chain link necklace and a few bracelets while Demi spent an hour trying to get Miley's hair to be the right kind of messy and her make up to be sexy but not sluty. All and all the look, though totally different from anything Miley would have picked, looked amazing on her.

Miley rolled her eyes and shoved Demi's shoulder. "Yeah, okay." Miley commented sarcastically.

"Come on! You're hot! Embrace it!" Demi laughed shoving Miley back.

Miley winced as Demi's hand came in contact with one of her bruises, but it wasn't enough for Demi to notice. "Alright, alright, come on. Let's just get to the party."

"What anxious to see your lover?" Demi teased.

"Yes, I'm dying inside without him." Miley rolled her eyes again pulling on Demi's sleeve to make her walk to the door.

"Alright, alright. Pushy, pushy."

And just like that the two girls linked arms and walked downstairs and out to the block party.

Nick arrived at the party with Kyle and Tyler. They made their way through the crowds and into the main section of the party. The party was truly a block party done the old fashion way. The whole street was blocked off with borrowed caution tape and orange cones. Colorful fairy lights were strung from one house across to the next, making an arc above the street. There was loud music and a huge cooler filled with drinks. There was a few neighborhood families working a BBQ for the crowd and everyone was having a good time. It was like a moment straight out of a movie.

Nick's eyes scanned the crowed for his girlfriend while Tyler and Kyle took in the party scene. It was much more family friendly then their usual, but it was cool nonetheless.

"Hey Nick, check out those blondes over there. Man they're hot." Kyle whistled.

"Dude are you forgetting? Nick has a girl." Tyler said rolling his eyes.

"Oh yeah. Hey where is Miley?" Kyle looked around him, scanning for her.

"Hey boys." Demi said making her way through the crowd to her friends.

"Hey Dem. have you seen Miles?" Kyle inquired.

"Uh dude, Miley's right there." Tyler said gesturing to the girl flanking Demi.

"Wow." Nick said taking in Miley's new look.

"Demi kidnapped me and forced me into her designer clothes." Miley smiled standing in front of the shocked Nick.

"Wow, you look amazing." Nick said coming to his senses and placing a small kiss on Miley's cheek.

"Yeah he's right. Damn girl you look hot!" Kyle said a bit too loud as Tyler backed him up with a wolf whistle.

"Alright you too, stop drooling over my girlfriend."

"Alright, alright. No need to go all caveman on us."

"Yeah dude, we got the message." The boys backed up a tad.

"Come on dumb and dumber, let's leave the love birds alone and get some drinks." Demi said grabbing both of them.

"Alright but who's dumber?" Tyler pestered as they walked away.

Miley just laughed. "You're friends are great."

"Yeah I guess. Complete idiots, but they're great." Nick said wrapping his arms around Miley's waist.

Miley stretched up to wrap her arms around him as well. "Well, they always mean well."

"Yes, that they do," Nick smiled. "So how was getting ready with Demi? Did she have to pin you down and force blush on your cheeks?"

Miley laughed, "nah she didn't have to go that far, but I have no doubt that she would have. It was just really great to have a girlfriend to talk to again. I didn't realize how much I missed it, but being with Demi made me realize it."

"Well that's great. I'm so happy for you." Nick said before he slowly leaned in to kiss Miley's lips softly.

Miley melted into the kiss as they stood there amongst all of the chaos. As they pulled away the DJ, a thirteen-year-old boy and his laptop, changed the song.

"May I have this dance my lady?" Nick asked sweetly.

"That you may, kind sir." Miley played along as Nick took Miley's hand and pulled her to the dance floor.

The two danced, partied and laughed for hours before slowly the crowd started thinning out and the cooler ran out of drinks, and the fairy lights started to flicker in the darkness.

"Hey it's getting late I should probably get you home." Nick said grabbing Miley's small hand in his.

"Yeah, I should probably be getting back." Miley sighed and let Nick guide her away from the crowd in the direction of his car, which was, parked a few streets over.

Miley sent a quick text to Demi telling her thanks you for everything and that she and Nick were heading out. Last Miley saw, Demi was looking very snuggly with Tyler.

After walking past a bunch of streets Miley looked up at Nick. "Gosh Nick, where did you park?"

"Oh hush up. My car's right there." Nick pointed to his car, which was a few steps away next to the curb.

Before Miley could think of a smart come back the sprinklers from the front lawn they were walking on, suddenly came to life, spraying Nick and Miley.

"Ahh!" Miley screamed in surprise then started to laugh.

Nick laughed along as Miley danced and twirled in the water. "Come on Nick! Spin with me!" She called as she started to spin in insane circles around the stranger's lawn.

Nick smiled as he caught the now dizzy Miley before she fell over. Once Miley's laughter subsided she looked up into Nick's eyes as his arms still kept her from falling.

"Hey there." Nick said smiling.

"Hi." Miley reached up and locked her lips with his.

The sprinklers ranged on as Miley and Nick kissed without a care in the world for several minutes. The kiss was soft and sweet with no trace of urgency or rushing in it.

When the two pulled away, they had identical wide smiles on their faces while Miley looked a bit dazed.

"Earth to Miley? Hey what's wrong?" Nick looked worried.

"I think I love you."

**A/n: AWWWWWWWWW! Haha. Happy Friday guys! Yay! An update! For the first weekend in SO long I have absolutely no horseback riding because it's far too cold for the horses to work. I'm kinda lost with what to do with myself but I'll get over it. :D I'm so sorry that it takes me so long to update, but I really am trying, I promise. **

**I hope you liked this chapter. This one was for all of my hopeless romantics out there. Keep faith, fairy tales are real sometimes. **

**Love you all and I hope you REVIEW! **

**Xoxo, **

**TheHeartNeverLies442**


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**A/n: hey guys, you're going to hate me for this one but I said from the start that this was no mush novel, it's as real as It gets and it's a tragedy. Sorry again and please Review at the end, it means a lot to me.**

**Italic's are Miley's journal writing. **

_The party was wonderful. Perfect. Amazing. Nick and I sung and danced and kissed in the sprinklers. I told him that I loved him. I guess I always did but I was afraid. Just him holding me in that moment under the spraying water, I felt truly safe. His smile was enough to melt my heart. He kissed me with so much passion last night that my knees buckled. It was amazing, for a while. Then I got home. _

_He was conscious for a change when I walked in from the party. God it hurts to even think about it. That was the night that things went from bad to worse, the abuse got worse, much worse. I lie awake in my bed, after escaping from under his unconscious body. I lie awake because I know that sleep won't come, not after the horrifying reality of last night. It all comes back in flashes that wont quit. _

_First he yelled, and then he grabbed me. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor. I screamed, but that only earned a slap to the face. He tore off Demi's expensive clothes that I borrowed, leaving them shredded on the floor. I was so alive, it was the worse thing to be lying on the ground with a sweating man that used to be my father, my hero, lying on top of me. His chapped disgusting lips found mine. I want to scream, but I was paralyzed in fear, my screams came out in whimpers of things like, "no" and "don't." and soon I felt him move inside of me. It was repulsing, but I could do nothing, my fight was fruitless. He slapped my face as he increased his pace. I felt helpless, alive, scared, all of my senses heightened by the frightening reality. _

_He passed out soon after he was through with me. I lied there for a few minutes, registering the horror. Then I shakily got to my feet and slowly climbed the stairs to my room._

_I really feel like giving up now. I've thought about it before, but for the first time I'm considering actually giving up and letting go. Maybe the monster is right, the world really might be a better place with out me. I'm scared, terrified, lost, upset, and I feel worthless. _

_Nick deserves better then me. I love him so much but I'm damaged goods. I'm disgusting. I'm repulsed by myself. I feel like puking every time I see myself in the mirror._

_Nick deserves someone who's pretty. _

_Someone who's emotionally stable._

_Someone who doesn't lie to him._

_Someone who isn't covered in bruises. _

_Someone who didn't lose their virginity to their father in the dark of her living room. _

_Someone who would be strong enough to fight back. _

_Someone who doesn't crumble._

_He deserves a girl that is everything I'm not. I'm not worthy of such a great guy. My father is right. I'm a slut, a whore, a bitch, and I'm not good for anything. I don't deserve to live, but I'm too chicken to even think about suicide. I'm not brave._

_I'm a __**coward.**_

_A __**slut.**_

_A __**bitch**__._

_Who would ever want me?_

-**xoxoxox-**

Miley dressed that morning in a baggy gray sweat shirt, sweat pants, and just enough make up to cover the hand prints on her face. She no longer felt beautiful like she did the night before. She felt repulsive.

Miley choked back a sob when she saw Demi's shredded clothes littering the living room floor, and her monster of a father passed out, beer in hand, on the couch.

Quietly and quickly she left the room, letting out a deep breath as she closed the door behind her. Miley got up hours before usual, she didn't want a ride from Nick, not this morning. She just wanted to leave the house as soon as possible. She wiped the flowing tears from her eyes as she walked to the school. It wouldn't be open yet, but Miley just simply planned on going to her old hiding place, the bleachers, till the first bell rang.

-**xoxoxox-**

Miley did not utter a word the whole day. When Nick kissed her and asked her why she didn't let him give her a ride, she shrugged and stayed silent.

When Demi asked Miley what she thought of the party. Miley did not say a thing.

When Tyler gave her a friendly hug and made some flirty, joking comment. She did not say a word.

When Kyle slung an arm around her shoulder and told her that if she ever got bored with Nick, he's be right there. She didn't even crack a smile. She stared ahead and looked blank.

When the teachers called on her in class, she acted like she didn't hear them.

When Nick tried so many time to break through her walls, she just built them right back up.

She sat at the usual lunch table just to give Nick a little bit of comfort. She didn't say a thing, but she sat there and picked at her food for the whole forty-five minutes.

After school was over Nick went to go find Miley at her locker, but while her books were all still inside, Miley was gone.

Nick franticly searched the school looking for Miley. He checked first with Demi, Kyle, and Tyler, but they had no idea. Then he searched her old hideouts. The back stair well. The abandoned classroom. He even paid a freshman ten bucks to look for her in the girls bathroom. He was close to giving up. Worried as hell, but exhausted.

He slung his bag over his shoulder in defeat as he walked to his car. Then he saw her, hair in her face, hunched over her black and white journal, writing furiously. Nick cringed. She looked just like that back when he first noticed her.

She looked alone.

**A/n: I know it's short and a lot to take in. I am so sorry if the rape scene offended anyone, but I did warn you and I thought I wrote it in a way that did the book justice without going into too much detail. This was a hard one to write, but I've been planning this chapter since the start of this book. This is the turning point. Don't say I didn't warn you. **

**If you liked it or hated it, I'd love a review either way. I worked hard on this one and I'd really like to hear your feelings about it so please ****Review.**


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**A/n: Hey guys thank you so much for your encouraging words from the last chapter. This one is much of the same but it's important. We're coming to the home stretch right now. At the moment there is going to be 19 chapters give or take a chapter. So savor them :D**

**I love you guys. **

**Italics are Miley's Journal Writing!**

_I'm scared. I'll admit it. I'm scared to go home, I'm scared to leave these bleachers, I'm scared of Nick finding out, I'm scared of him being disgusted by me, the girl who got raped by her own father. I'm scared to death and I can do nothing about it. _

_I'm treading. Like the way my camp counselor taught me years ago in the pool at day camp. Move your legs and your arms back and forth, keep your head above water, and you'll stay afloat, you just won't move. I'm treading, my heads above the water, but I'm no longer swimming, I'm just treading in place. Maybe I've been treading for too long, because it's getting harder and harder to keep my head up. _

Miley's pen dances across the page timidly, savoring her time there. It's starting to get dark, every student and teacher has gone home, the janitors are finishing up, but Miley's still there. Perched up high on her spot on the silver metal. She's too afraid to go home, but she cant put it off any longer.

She slowly puts her books and journal into her bag and stands. Her legs ache from the torched her father inflicted on her the night before. She tries so hard to fight back the tears but they come anyways.

Still she puts on a brave face and walks home as the sun fades around her.

"MILEY!" Billy's voice booms before she can even enter the house. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOU SLUT!"

"School." Miley answered in a small voice she was scared out of her mind and as much as she tried to prevent it, it showed.

"SCHOOL! YEAH RIGHT? WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID! HUH? WHAT WHORE, YOU THINK I'M A FOOL! I CAN TELL YOU'RE LYING RIGHT THROUGH YOUR GOOD FOR NOTHING BUCK TEETH!"

"No, no, I promise. I was at school." Miley shook as Billy came closer.

"HAHA, I AM NO FOOL GIRL. YOU'RE A LYING SLUT JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER WAS. I ALWAYS KNEW IT! NOW GET OVER HERE!"

Billy lunges for her and grabs Miley roughly. He smacks her faces and then moves his grip to her arms. His grip is so tight Miley can feel the bruises forming already. Against her better judgment she yelps. That did it. Billy's eyes took over a crazed look and he roughly gripped Miley's head to make her look him in the eyes.

"Does that hurt bitch?" he chuckled. "Well now you'll know better then to lie to me wont you?"

Miley stayed silent. Biting her lip in an attempt to stop the tears.

"WONT YOU?" Billy yelled throwing Miley to the ground like a rag doll.

"YOU INSUBORDINATE UNGREATFUL SLUT!" He kicked Miley's stomach hard with his foot. "I WASN'T GOING TO GO THIS FAR TONIGHT BUT YOU'VE DONE IT NOW."

He unbuttoned his worn jeans and took off his shirt. He shed is clothes and looked at Miley with hunger in his eyes. He took hold of his leather belt and went about whipping Miley everywhere.

Miley looked defeated, she gazed at a wall and forced herself to become numb to the pain. It was a talent that she had. Her body would go into survival mode, and she'd force herself to feel less.

Billy ripped off Miley's clothes carelessly he threw them out of his way. He smacked her around with the back of his hand before he got on the floor next to her and whispered in her ear.

"Come on Slut. I know you liked it last night. I could tell." He chuckled as he kneeled over her. "Open your legs whore." He commanded before shoving them apart himself.

He moves in her again and this time it's worse. He's rough, and careless. Her hips are pounded into the wood floor as she tries not to let a single tear slip from her eyes. He continues, picking up speed he wont stop. Then it's over and he stands looking satisfied with himself. This is what he's always wanted.

He redresses himself, grabs a key and heads for the front door. He's off to go find some cheep bear at a local bar while Miley lays broken on the hard wood floor.

Slowly the tears come. They flood her eyes till she can no longer see. The sobs wrack her body as she lies crumbled on the floor. She's a mess and she feels terrible inside and out. Suddenly she gets to get feet and runs to the kitchen. Making it to the trash can just in time she vomits.

Her insides contracting till there is nothing left in her stomach and she's dry heaving. The tears continue their path down her beautifully broken face. The bruises on her arms start to darken and the pain in her body becomes almost unbearable.

It takes almost an hour but Miley finds the strength to make it up the stairs. She snuggles down into her soft bed gazing at the wall. Sleep won't come tonight. She's too afraid to let it. Afraid of what her mind might do to her when she at her most helpless. Afraid of her dad coming home and taking advantage of her again. She's terrified.

_He did it again. I'm so weak, so useless. I can't even fight back. Maybe I deserve it. Yes, I think that's it. There's no other way…_

_Tears cloud these pages, I'm sorry, I can't help it. They've been falling all day. I wonder how much longer till I cry myself dry. This life is exhausting and I'm not sure how much more treading I can take. I feel like I'll never be able to just swim again, I'll always be treading, but now even that's difficult. It's terrible. I'm terrible. Life is terrible._

Miley walks to school in a daze. Her make up job this morning to hide the handprints wasn't as good as usual. You could see the faint out line of a handprint on her left cheek. No one will notice though. No one looks close enough and those that do are too afraid that their assumptions are right to even bring their thoughts to light. That's what life is life for Miley. That's what it's been like for far too long.

Miley doesn't say much all day. She refuses to answer teacher's questions, she doesn't speak to her friends. She even tries to pretend that Nick isn't real, that way she doesn't have to worry about him and his feelings. Concentrating on not having a break down was work enough. Miley just didn't have the energy to put on an act of happiness. Not today.

"Miles?" Nick asks quietly approaching her at her locker.

Miley looks at him sadly and says nothing.

"Miley, please let me in. Please. I don't know why all of your walls have gone up again. Please just trust me, let me in. I love you Miley."

Nick looks like he's been up all night worrying about Miley, and that thought is just too much to bare paired with his heartfelt words.

Miley shakes her head. Back and forth, back and forth before shutting her locker and running off. She can't handle this. She can't handle school. She can't handle Nick, the amazing guy that just fell in love with the wrong girl. She need so get away from it all she needs to be alone, so she runs.

Tyler comes up to Nick, having seen the whole thing. "Hey dude."

"Hi." Nick says plainly looking hurt.

"I know it's rough but there's something obviously going on with Miley right now. You should just give her some space."

"No. No there is nothing _'going on_' with Miley. She loves me. She would've told me." Nick fumes at his friend.

"Hey, Nick calm down. It's alright." Tyler tries to be reassuring but it's hopeless.

"No Tyler. No. She's just having a rough day. She'll be fine. There's nothing seriously wrong. She would've told me. She would've told me." Nick looks dejected as he picks up his backpack from the floor and exits the halls.

She's out of breath by the time she reaches her old spot under the abandoned stairwell. She slides down the wall till she reaches the ground, her body tucked into a ball.

She rushes to get her journal. She needs an outlet for all of her emotions. She needs a break.

_I notice him wondering. I see the concern. But he wont act on it any more then he already has. I just know it. He's blind to it like everyone else. I don't know what's scarier, the fact that no one can notice or the idea that someone might. I'm just so lost in my own head now and I don't know what to do. I just want to go back a year or two. Before my mom cheated on my dad, before my brother left for college, before I was alone, before my dad became the monster. Before I was abused. I want to go back so desperately but no one will grant my wish. It doesn't work like that. I can just turn back time and live in a moment where everything was all right. It just doesn't work like that. It never will. _

**A/n: okay guys, once again I'm sorry about the rape scene and if it offended anyone. It's just that it's important to the story. Please review and tell me what you think. You're reviews mean so much to me and I promise that they make me update faster :D. **

**Love you all, **

**Theheartneverlies442**


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**A/N: hey guys. How's it going? Well I'm in a good mood because my mom is actually letting me take a mental health day off from school tomorrow so long weekend for me. :D some days I love my mom more then she could know! **

**This week's been killer but I'm here now to update! Yay! There are only a few more left for this book and I don't think I'm doing a sequel so enjoy it babes! **

**Love you all and thank you for your great response last chapter. You guys are amazing! **

**Italics are Miley's journal writing!**

_The beatings are worse, he hits harder then before. The first time it happened he was more, gentle, I guess. The first time he hit me out of frustration, he was drunk, and he apologized. Then it happened again, and again, and again. He's gaining momentum I feel like. Each hit is harder, each word is harsher, I just fear what might happen if he keeps going at this rate. _

_My room doesn't feel like mine anymore. It's a cover, the pink walls hide the pain that this room has seen. If they could talk I'd fear what they'd say. Maybe I'd be ridiculed for not standing up for myself and telling anyone, but no one can know. If they did things wouldn't go well. He'd probably be found innocent and then he's for sure have his way with me, I shutter at the thought. I'm better off here. I'll clean my bruises, take the beatings and wait till I'm old enough to escape this hellhole. _

_I'd be lying if I were to tell you that right now, sitting in my room at two in the morning with fresh cuts open and bleeding littering my skin, that I still didn't believe that he could change. He's my father after all. I guess we all have unrealistic expectations of our parents. I should of learned by now, since my cheating mother left, and my brother is nonexistent at the moment. "I'll call you every week," yeah right Jackson. I've only received one call since you left._

_Enough self pity, I deserve what I get. I'm a slut, a lying good for nothing, insolent girl. My father is right. I don't belong here. I'm not good enough. Not for Him, or Nick. I'm a lying, selfish, horrible person. _

Miley let the tears overwhelm her eyes. They slide down her face making paths to her neck, then her bed. She doesn't try and stop them now. She's learning that it's no use. No use at all.

Miley slowly puts down her pen and drops her notebook into her bag. She takes a seat on her windowsill over looking the suburban skyline, now hidden by darkness's blanket. Miley curls herself up into a ball and slowly her eyes grow heavy and close. Sleep over comes her body for the first time in a long time.

Nick however tosses and turns in his bed plagued by his thoughts. He doesn't want to admit there's something wrong with Miley, because if there is, then that means she doesn't trust him enough to tell him. But if there isn't, then why is she acting so strangely. Nick's mind shifts through memories with Miley. Their first kiss, their "I love you's," then he thinks farther back in time. He remembers the journal that use to be much more present at the beginning of the year. He remembers her writing every chance she got, he remembers that one-day in Bio when he looked over and read the words, "no one can know."

No one can know. The words swim in his head. No one can know. What can they not know. It's Miley and she's all about the mystery. That's what attracted Nick to her in the first place, but what really gets him is the way the way the words were written. Scratched in with black pen. Squiggly lines, like a cry for help.

"Oh gosh" Nick thinks. Maybe she really is in trouble. He racks his brain for the logical possibilities but all he can think of are the worst-case scenarios and it terrifies him. He's made up his mind. Tomorrow he will confront her. Tomorrow he will get answers.

-**Stay Strong-**

Nick walks with a purposeful step. He's determined to get his answers. He approaches Miley at the bleacher She looks pale as ever, like all the blood has been drained from her body. Her dark hair covers her face. She looks lost in her own world but that in no way deters Nick from his mission.

"Hey Miley."

Miley turned around to see Nick. Guilt weighs heavy on her heart. She can't tell him but she hates lying to him.

"Miley?" Nick waits patiently for an answer and when it's clear that he wont get one he sighs. "Miley come on here. Talk to me babe." Nick says soothingly rubbing a hand up and down her arm.

Miley just flinches from the contact. He's about to agitate a cut. In a minute or two it will start to bleed down her shirt. Miley shivers.

"Miley please. Let me in. I want to help but you need to tell me what's wrong with you. I know something's up, please. I just want to be there for you. I love you Mi. Please." Nick looks defeated as he begs Miley.

Miley opens her mouth to form words but she just can't. She shakes her head no repeatedly and starts to pull away from Nick. This is just too much for her at the moment.

"Miley! Let me in Goddamit! Why am I not good enough anymore! Why? Why can't you trust me? I love you Goddamit. I fucking love you but you can't even speak to me! What's wrong with you?" Nick's frustration gets the best of him and he starts to yell.

Miley struggles now, terrified. She knows that Nick would never hurt her, but the yelling scares her. The fact that he wants to know her secrets scares her even more.

"I-I-I-I" Miley struggles for words then takes a breath and gains confidence. "I'm fine Nick! Mind your own business! I don't give you the third degree!" Miley shouts breaking his hold on her arm and giving him the world's iciest glare. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Miley's face softens, her voice shrinking, "just leave me alone." Miley's voice is broken.

Nick backs off. Her reaction caught him off guard. He stumbles and then decides that it's best to give her some space. He's hurt and confused. He should push her more but he wont. He walks away instead and climbs down bleachers.

Out of sight and out of mind from Nick, Miley feels the tears coming again. Slowly she feels her knees give out and she sinks down into the cool metal cradle of the bleachers. Her face buries its way into her hands and tears clouded her vision. Miley wants to give up so badly. She no longer believes that she's worth it. That life is worth it. Her thoughts take scary twist down into the depths of depression. She knows she won't take the steps to suicide but she also doesn't know how long she can possibly live like this much longer. She's scared. Absolutely terrified.

**A/n: Hey guys. I know it's short and I could have combined this chapter and the next but it just didn't feel right. Plus it give you guys another chapter before this story's over. **

**Love you all and REVIEWS make me up date quicker! **


	18. Chapter Seventeen

**A/n: Hey guys. I know it's taking longer then I said it would, but life gets busy and I'm sorry. A tree also crashed into my room this morning, no joke a big fat tree fell on the roof, so that was a bit distracting. Haha Well here's the update, I'm on spring break soon so I think I'll finally find the time to cap this book off. Love you all, enjoy!**

Nick sits in class the next day two desks back and one over from Miley. Same spot as always, except something was different. The mood had all changed. He was no longer the happy go lucky, curly haired cute boy interested in the mysterious quite girl. No he is the distraught, scared, worried boyfriend of that girl. The girl that he's finally figuring out.

The teacher drones on but Nick doesn't listen. He's in his own world, scared as hell. Slowly the puzzle is coming together in his head. He doesn't want to see it, but he's coming to his own conclusions. It's all starting to make sense now. Why he's never allowed in the Stewart's house. Why Miley always had her arms covered. Why Miley was so closed off. The one piece that kept sticking to his mind came from months before. "No one can know." The words scribbled into one of Miley's notebooks.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Miley, his beautiful Miley, is being abused. Tortured by the monsters in her own house. His funny, sweet, shy Miley was a victim and he had no idea what he was going to do.

He couldn't tell Kyle or Tyler, could he? I pondered. He was feeling more confident in is horrible conclusion but he was afraid. Afraid of scaring her off, of invading her privacy, of over stepping. He loves her, oh god does he love her, but his fear of losing her is fighting with his good judgment. He's afraid to push her.

"You have a large test coming up on the last three chapter, study. This one is no cake walk and counts for 1/4th of your final grade in my class." The teacher warns as the bell sounds.

Miley darts from her seat, she's avoiding Nick. He knows it, she knows it, but she won't admit that to herself. Not ever.

While gathering his notes, Nick decides that he'll ask one more time. He'll give her one more chance to tell him. He's near defeated and he hates the feeling. He just wants to let her love him, and it tears him up inside that she won't.

Nick walks out of the class slowly. He's made up his mind and, although he's scared of what might happen, he decided that there's no turning back. Not now.

"Miley?" Nick's voice is soft, and soothing as he approaches her locker.

Miley looks at him like a dear in the headlights. She struggles, but manages to keep her face passive. No emotions, Miley decided that that was the way to go. No emotions, no feelings, no pain.

"Miley, I'm only going to ask one more time, and only because I love you. I care about you so much and I want to be there for you. I really do." Nick's words are laced with sadness, he's almost broken but he continues. "Miley, is someone abusing you?"

Miley's eyes start to water but she refuses to cry. She shakes her head violently. So many thoughts flood her brain. How did he figure it out? What's going to happen if her father finds out that he knows? How's she going to survive? How can Nick even look at her when she's so weak and disgusting? How?

"Mile." Nick tries again reaching out for her arm. He quickly pulls up her sleeve needing to see for himself.

Miley's now exposed skin is encrusted, plastered, smothered in bruises. It looks like a little kid went crazy with a craft's kit and painted black and blue on to Miley's skin. Her arm is swollen and puffy. The sight is enough to make Nick visibly cringe.

He pulls back for a second in astonishment. One second was enough though. Miley rips her arm from Nick's hold and runs. She leaves her locker open and all of her stuff scattered. She needs to get out. She feels suffocated.

She moves as fast as her feet will let her out the doors while Nick stands there in shock. He's utterly defeated, his worst fears confirmed. _His _angel, _his _Miley is being abused and she won't trust him. She doesn't want him. She doesn't want to be anywhere near him.

He wants to vomit and cry all at the same time. He's torn between feelings, scared out of his mind. He's angry, upset, hurt, outraged, broken, hysteric. He just doesn't know what to feel.

Numbly he turns to Miley's locker. He reaches over and shuts it, locking it for her and turns to leave. Before he gets too far away he notices a small black and white book at his feet.

It's unmistakably Miley's journal. Her little black and white book that will unlock all the hurt, confusion, and mystery surrounding Miley Stewart. Nick bends down and slowly lifts the book into his hands. His fingers lightly graze the spine and he lets out a ragged sigh before tucking it under his arm and walking away leaving the halls deserted and lonely.

**A/n: suspenseful? **

**I know it's short but there's only two more after this and this chapter is really important to the closing plot line so I wanted to have it really standout to you guys. The next chapter's a big one so get ready! Two more to go.**

**Please review and tell me how this story makes you feel. What emotions and thoughts it provokes, if it provokes any. It would mean the world to me.**

**AND on a totally unrelated note, I started to post some of my songs up on fiction press. I have like 20 up now and it would mean a lot if you checked them out! **

**My account is ****http:/(www(.)fictionpress(.)com/u/696475/(TheHeartNeverLies442****)**

Minus all of the parentheses.


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**A/n: Hey guys. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little upset by the small amount of reviews for last chapter. I know a good amount of people read this story and its so helpful and encouraging to get you feed back. It helps me out a lot. **

**Anyways, this is the final chapter of Stay Strong. All that's left is an epilogue. So please review at the end of this. I really need to feed back. **

Nick sits on his bed, knees curled to his chest. The black and white notebook rests on the opposite side of the room. Nick glares at it. He's so torn. More then anything he wants to know what secrets it keeps, he wants to know everything about Miley, his beautifully broken Miley. He wants to know all that she's been hiding with long sleeves and make up. He wants to know why she's hiding. Why she doesn't love him or trust him enough. Why he isn't enough.

He doesn't realize that he was always more then enough; that was Miley's problem. He's too perfect and she feels as though she'll never deserve someone like him.

Nick buries his head into his kneecaps. Nick's curly hair is unruly from having his fingers run through it one too many times out of frustration. Why can't this be easier? He wonders. Why does he have to love someone so broken? Why couldn't he have fallen for a girl with a simple goal. A girl whose biggest ambition was to be prom queen and only baggage was designer. He just had to fall for the most amazing, most difficult, most utterly broken girl out there.

He looks at the book. It looks so innocent, if only it was as it seemed. The book held the thoughts and feelings of an abused soul, all of the tragic and horrific details of her life. If it were anyone else but Miley, Nick could of opened the book. He could of read the pages, learned the story. But it isn't someone else's book. It's Miley's, _his _Miley.

Nick groans and forces his body off of the bed. He walks over to the notebook and lifts it up. It's ragged from over used. It's worn down from the secrets it keeps. Nick fingers the pages, sighing deeply. He almost cracks the notebook open but then he stops himself. He feels wrong; these aren't his secrets to know. He places the book carefully into his backpack in between his chemistry binder and his worn out copy of Hamlet from English class.

The sun was slowly rising outside Nick's window. Nick did not sleep a single second all night. Yesterday's realizations haunted him like a child's deeps fears.

Nick was worn down himself. He left the house in a disheveled mess. His sweatshirt only half on, his bag opened, his hair tangled. Appearances didn't mean much to Nick in the first place, but today they were the last things on his mind. Miley was the only thing on his mind as he slid into his car and pulled off the curb.

He decided that he was going to find her and use the notebook as an excuse to talk to her one more time. He knows that he promised he wouldn't, but he never actually thought she's confirm all of his speculations. He never thought this would happen to him; to Miley. No this was not the way his life was supposed to go, he told himself. This was not how his story was meant to be written, this chapter with Miley is not over.

He had ideas. Millions of ideas and scenarios worked out in his head. He was going to walk right up to Miley, pull her into the most knee-weakening kiss she's ever had and then precede to tell her that he loves her, so much, and that she can stay with him till they graduate. They can call the cops on her horrid abuser and live happily ever after in his parent's house for the next two years, then go off to college together and eventually get married. She'd agree. She'd have to. Right?

Nick starts to question himself. He has a million doubts flooding his brain but he forces himself to stay optimistic. He has no other choice. Not for himself _or_ Miley.

Nick pulls into the school lot and cuts the engine of his truck. He leans his head forward and presses it into the wheel. "Positive, Nick. Stay positive." He tells himself over and over again. He'll turn things around today. He believes he will.

Nick walks to Miley's locker before he goes to homeroom, but she's not there. Nick tries not to think of the worst and hikes his backpack up on his shoulder on the way to homeroom. She must have gotten here early and is already in her own homeroom.

Nick walks into Chem. Class third period, takes his seat and focuses intently on the door waiting for Miley to enter. But she doesn't come.

She must of stayed late to talk to a teacher, he decides when the first ten minutes of class pass without Miley.

Another ten minutes and she must be having a bad day and decided to skip class. That or she really did not want to see him.

Another ten minutes and class start to wind down. She must be having a late morning and she's going to come in by next period. She slept in, he decided.

The teacher dismisses everyone and they all rush to leave. Nick's eyes don't leave the doorknob all period, but she doesn't cross the threshold into Room 135 that day.

Nick swims in his thoughts all through English. Usually he was a good student, but he just has too much on his mind. Miley wasn't at her locker in between class. His doubts and fears were starting to get the better of him. He struggled to repress them. Positive, he has to be positive. She's here. She's just avoiding him, and doing a really good job at it. He'll see her at lunch. He just knows it.

Nick walks into fifth period History and takes his seat. One more period till lunch. Till he gets to see Miley. There's no way she wont be there, he tells himself. And if she's not in the cafeteria, then she'll be on the bleachers, just like always. Nick taps his pen on his desk, lost in thought.

"Nick." Demi hisses from his right. He snaps out of his trance and notices the note on his desk. He eyes her curiously and opens the note up.

"Hey, what's up with you? You're so out of it." Demi scribbled in her loopy cursive.

"Have you seen Miley today?" Nick writes back and chucks the note at her.

The teacher drones on about Rasputin's connection to the Tsarist family before for the Russian Revolution. There's a test on all of this in two days but Nick doesn't take a single note. He's got better things on his mind.

"Nope, I was going to ask you if you did. She wasn't in second period English with me." Miley loves English more then anything else in the world. At the beginning of the year when she wouldn't talk to anyone, English was the only class she'd contribute to. She wasn't here this morning because there's no way she'd skip the class.

"Oh." Nick writes back and then turns his attention to the clock and his thoughts. Twenty-five minutes till lunch. If only time could speed up.

Lunch came and went without Miley. Nick combed the building searching desperately for Miley but she was nowhere to be found. She wasn't in the cafeteria, or on the bleachers. Or even in any of her many hiding places. She just wasn't there.

"Nick, calm down. Maybe she just got sick and stayed home today." The usually light-hearted Kyle said softly.

"Yeah man, she probably just has a cold or something and decided to take the day off." Tyler adds in as the group sits in their usual spot in the cafeteria.

"I just have a really bad feeling about this. Miley never just skips." Nick said running his fingers through his messy locks again.

"Dude, she misses school all of the time." Kyle looks confused. He doesn't know what Nick does. He hasn't put together the facts that when Miley misses school it's because she physically can't get there. She's too broken.

"Never just for a cold." Nick says softly rubbing his eyes. The dark circles make him look five years older and hallow. The way he utters the words make them sound eerie. He knows in his gut that something is wrong, yet he repeats over and over again in his head, "positive, you have got to keep positive."

The day ends as the final bell sounds. Nick jumps out of his seat in math class and shoves his books into his bag. He practically runs out the door of the classroom and out to the lot. He's going to Miley's; he needs to know for sure that she's all right.

He doesn't bother to stop at his locker, he just tosses what books he does have into the back of the truck and speeds away. The whole ride to Miley's his mind is racing with horrible thoughts. "Positive Nick, keep positive until you know for sure." He screams at himself.

He runs three stop signs and speeds through two yellow lights before he arrives on Miley's street. He slows down. There are sirens, and three police cars, and an ambulance.

Nick climbs out of the driver's seat slowly and walks closer to get a better look. The cops swarm Miley's house. Nick sees two of them struggle to get a man into handcuffs. They read him his Miranda Rights as he struggles against their grips.

"Get off me! I didn't do a damn thing wrong. It was all the Slut's fault. She deserved what she got!" He lashes out, screaming loud words that slowly register in Nick's head.

"Oh gosh, Miley." The words slip past his lips as Billy is shoved into the back of a police car.

Nick runs up to the yellow caution tape. He's looks right and then left, ready to jump the tape and find his girl, when he sees the stretcher.

It's like a scene in a movie. All of time slows down and Nick watches the events unfold as if he's watching someone else's life.

The paramedics wheel out the stretcher, there's a body on top, and a blue sheet is pulled snugly over the body, over the head. The paramedics look exhausted, blood splattered all over their scrubs.

One of the holds a clip board and looks at her watch. "Time of death: fifteen thirty three."

They load the body into the ambulance. A bit of brown hair pools out on one side. The wavy locks set something off inside Nick. Suddenly he's yelling. Piercing screams rip from his throat.

Not him.

Not _this._

Not now.

Not _his_ Miley.

No this isn't happening.

The words are incoherent as he begins to sob. His body shakes and his knees give out.

He hears people walk over to him. They ask him questions as he crumbles on the pavement. Their words fall def to his ears. A soft voice tries to sooth him but he can't stop screaming. The cops look at each other in bewilderment, then everything goes black and Nick succumbs to darkness. Terrified, he welcomes it.

**A/n: I'm a complete mess right now writing this. This book has meant so much to me over the past two years. It's been a hard book to write but I'm pretty happy with how it worked out. I'm a wreck because it's over and because of how I ended it, but that's how it had to end and I hope you understand. There will be an epilogue soon and that'll clear up a lot of things and end things properly. **

**Please review on this one and tell me what you think. It was a huge chapter for me to write and I'm torn up that it's the last one minus the epilogue. **


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**A/n: here it is! The epilogue to Stay Strong. I hope you enjoy and please read my final Author's note at the end. Enjoy!**

"Nick, you're on in five." A woman dressed in a pants suit with a clipboard and head set calls from the doorway.

Nick nods silently in response and then his eyes return to his blackberry resting next to an old tattered notebook on his lap. The phone silently whispers the date, it's the 23rd. Ten years ago today he was crumbled on the sidewalk outside of her house. Ten years ago today her life was cut short while his was only just beginning.

The black and white notebook is started to look worse for wear. It's been read so many times. Trusted with so many secrets, and witnessed so many tears. Nick broke down and read the book the day of the funeral. Four days after Miley's murder.

_-Stay Strong-_

_The air licks the cheeks of all who stand by cloaked in black, drenched in tears. The atmosphere is characteristic of the now impending winter. _

_Miley loves—loved-the winter Nick thinks. But then he takes his internal statement back. Maybe she never liked the winter at all. Maybe she just liked the fact that in the winter, no one gave her strange looks for wearing long sleeves. Nick's been questioning a lot of things he thought he knew about Miley. It scares him every time he comes upon a memory of a time where it was so painfully obvious what was going on behind her blue eyes that it brings tears to his eyes. _

_Nick follows in step as the small numbers of people gather around the coffin. It's decked out with Lilies, Miley's favorite, and a priest begins to speak. Nick's eyes are glued to the coffin, even though it kills him to look at it. He feels a small hand wrap around his arm, Demi is standing at his side, her eyes puffy and red. Quietly she sniffles. _

_The small corner of the cemetery is filled with a decent sized crowd of people. Tyler and Kyle stand with their hands in their pockets and solemn looks on their faces. A few silent tears fall from Kyle's eyes but he forces himself to stay strong for those around him. _

_Miley's mom showed up and stood silently among the crowd. She wasn't crying, she stood still, her face blank, her eyes locked on the coffin. She didn't sniffle, or let loose a tear, or frown, or smile, or laugh. She didn't do anything but stare. _

_Miley's brother Jackson arrived as well. He looked pained as tears trickled from his dark eyes. He blamed himself. He should have called, he should have been there, and he should've paid more attention. He wished more then anything that he would of brought Miley with him when he left from college, but he was selfish and afraid. Now she was gone. _

_Teachers circled the grave as well. They stood, some crying, some frowning. They all wished that they'd caught on sooner. It's funny in a way, how once the truth comes out you find yourself looking back and wondering how in the world you never noticed before. That's what was going through each teacher's head. They all saw the signs, they were just too afraid of the truth. _

_The word traveled like wildfire around the school and the news did a segment on Miley. All of her old friends, the ones that gave up when Miley started going into her depression, were back once again. All were decked out in black with puffy red eyes and raw noses to match. They all feel the guilt. _

_Nick leans into Demi and tried his best to make himself listen to the priest's words but they blur together in his head. They don't seep through the surface, all he can think of are the cops, the ambulance and worst of all the blue body cover. _

_-Stay Strong-_

Nick runs a hand through his hair. He shouldn't mess it up he knows. Not now when he's on in five, but he cant help it. He breathes in deep looking around the room. It's nice, basic, but nice. It has four white walls, and gray carpet. The right corner houses a mini fridge filled with his favorite sodas, the left is taken up by a fairly large gift basket with his name attached to it. There's a small table, three black leather chairs and a couch in the middle, but Nick's eyes aren't on the room around him, they're on the fraying binding of the black and white notebook on his lap.

By now he's memorized every word, every tear mark, every smudge and doodle. His heart clenches to think of the first time he cracked open the pages. Ten years ago in his room, crumbled on the floor feeling helpless.

_-Stay Strong-_

_When the funerals all said and done with Nick crashes into his room, his eyes all cried out of tears. His cheeks are raw and his eyes are bloodshot. The skin beneath his nose is on fire from being rubbed one too many times. Nick crumbles on the floor and curls into a ball beneath his window. He wants to hide there from now until all eternity. He doesn't want to live anymore. He's losing all will. He feels guilty, so guilty; about Miley, about everything. _

_Then the notebook catches his eyes. He slowly moves to pick it up into his hands. His fingers graze the binding. PROPERTY OF MILEY STWEART. Nick cracks open the first page and slowly begins to read. _

_Curled up under his window he shares her pain. He slowly understands the pain Miley went through. Words are burned into his mind. Lines like, "__I screamed out in pain as he threw me against the walls. I yelped as he ripped my hair out, so that I would stand up only to be punched back down, I cried silently as he twisted a wet towel in his hands and whipped my back with it." Plagued his dreams, his nightmares. _

_Words of how she never felt like she was good enough cut him deep, scar him. Passages stating things like, "__Nick deserves better then me. I love him so much but I'm damaged goods. I'm disgusting. I'm repulsed by myself. I feel like puking every time I see myself in the mirror," haunt his every waking moment. _

_And the horrible, graphic recounts of Billy being on top of her, his beautiful, fragile, delicate, Miley, make his skin crawl and bile rise in his throat. The passage, "I was so alive, it was the worse thing to be lying on the ground with a sweating man that used to be my father, my hero, lying on top of me. His chapped disgusting lips found mine. I want to scream, but I was paralyzed in fear, my screams came out in whimpers of things like, "no" and "don't." and soon I felt him move inside of me," Was forever engraved into his head. Branded into his thoughts and nightmare. _

_The reality of it brought him to tears again, when he thought he didn't have anymore left. _

_-Stay Strong-_

"Nick, you're on in two! Get your ass over here!" The same women calls, breaking Nick from his trance a second time.

Slowly he rises up to his feet and places the notebook back on the chair. He straightens out his shirt and fixes his pants on his waist. He's wearing jeans and a black T-shirt. His feet are covered in a pair of converse and his hair, although slightly shorter then it was in his teenage years, flopped into his eyes.

His hand moved slowly to his back left pocket. Carefully and reached in and grabbed a hold of an old picture. He brings it up to his face for a moment. It's an old picture of him and Miley. It was taken the night of the block party by Demi. Nick didn't even know she took it until after Miley passed. Demi came by his house and gave it to him. It hasn't left his side since.

The happy look on their faces gets him every time. How was she so happy when the world was so horrible to her? He often questions.

"Nick! Thirty seconds!" The lady screams at him again. Nick looks up and gingerly he brings the photo to his lips and kisses it before sliding it back into his pocket and walking out the door.

_-Stay Strong-_

"Hey how's everybody out there tonight?" He screams to a crowd of hundreds all chanting his name. The screams intensify and Nick smiles. "Good, glad to hear it." He chuckles softly into the microphone.

Nick made his dream come true. He did it for Miley, because of Miley. She always told him to shoot for the stars and if this is what he wanted then he should let nothing stand in his way. He found the strength and made it so he could live enough for the both of them. He decided to live his life to the fullest for Miley as well. He was going to live the life she had taken from her, because that's what Miley would've wanted. What she always wanted.

Nick smiled at the crowd after finishing up a third song. The posters of teens declaring their love for him stood out brightly, making his grin widen. "One second guys." He reached and grabbed a small stool from stage right, propping it up center stage.

Then he found his old acoustic guitar, holding it close as he sat down on the stool and looked out to all in front of him. He took a deep breath and turned his face upwards to the sky. Silently he said a prayer for Miley, and then he began to speak.

"I know a lot of you out there say you're mega fans and know everything about me, which is cool, a bit weird really, but cool. However there's one thing about me that I'm sure you don't know, and if you don't mind, I'd like to share something with you all." Nick bent over his guitar strumming a few chords and tuning a few strings.

Nick's band looked utterly confused standing behind him. This wasn't in the set list, not at all. Have no clue on what to do they all silently agreed to just sit back and watch the night's events unfold.

"A few years back, ten to be exact, a certain girl came into my life and changed everything for me. She was beautiful, quiet, funny and smart. Her name was Miley and she stole my heart at age sixteen." He looked up from the neck of the acoustic guitar and into the cheering crowd. He took a deep breath.

"One year Miley was the popular, and sugary sweet girl, and then the next she was completely different. She stopped talking. She wouldn't say a word to her teachers, her old friends, to anyone. She caught my attention in Bio class and we were paired as partners. We started to date, and little by little, she started to break from her protective shell. Miley started to be happy again, for a little while.

"Miley, however, had a secret, a big one. She was being abused, physically, mentally, and in the end, sexually. She hid it for a long time, there were signs, but when something like that is going on in your life, your mind refuses to believe it." Nick took a deep breath. The crowd was dead silent. He could see a few camera phones recording his words. This would go on Youtube and be viral by morning. Nick didn't care though. He needed this, he needed to do this.

With a deep sigh he continued. "We got into a fight one time because I started to piece things together. She was defensive and scared so she ran home. When I didn't see her the next day at school I panicked. I rushed to her house the minute the bell rang and the end of the day, but I was too late. At age sixteen, Miley was killed by her father. Ten years ago today I watched the scene unravel in front of me from the sidewalk outside her house." The tears were starting to come. Nick could feel himself getting choked up but refused to let any water pass down his cheeks.

"The whole thing broke me. I've spent years feeling guilty. Like I could have done more, noticed more, helped more. Like I could have stopped it. If you guys don't mind the small change to the set list, this is my final apology to my first love because I know she'd want, more then anything, for me to move on."

Slowly he begins to strum the old guitar stings. An unfamiliar tune fills the sold out stadium and not a single eye is dry as the lyrics spill from Nick's mouth like a waterfall.

"Use to know a girl who was heaven sent

Beautiful, popular, and class president

Deep blue eyes, brown hair in waves

And legs that went on for days

The she shrunk back in class

With a dark makeup mask

And long sleeve shirts

She became invisible

And I knew something was wrong

The sad eyes didn't belong

But I didn't speak up cause we were just kids

Pre chorus:

She strong through the storm

Never breaks but she's torn

Her grip slips, she doesn't utter a word

Time heals all other wounds but the cuts and the bruise

Hang on,

It never ends, for her it never ends

Chorus:

Hold on, the fear is so strong

Don't let him convince your you're not worth the fight

Let the tears out, stop drowning in your doubt

Waiting for the moment when you get back what was taken away

A shell of her old life

She waits for the storm to pass

Hiding from the monsters in masks

That lurk in her home

She's the elephant in the room

A rose that won't bloom

Lost all hope that anyone can love her

I just wanted to love her

Pre chorus:

She strong through the storm

Never breaks but she's torn

Her grip slips, but she doesn't utter a word

Time heals all other but the cuts and the bruise

Hang on,

It never ends, for her it never ends

Chorus:

Hold on, the fear is so strong

Don't let him convince your you're not worth the fight

Let the tears out stop drowning in your doubt

Waiting for the moment when you get back what was taken away

Suffocation, contemplation,

I waited too long

Now that moment in time

Is engraved in my mind

And there's no escaping the 'should have done's'

Miley, I should of spoke out

And I'm so sorry now

I can't imagine what somebody did

Hold on, the fear is so strong

Don't let him convince your you're not worth the fight

Let the tears out stop drowning in your doubt

Waiting for the moment when you get back what was taken away

Waiting for the moment when you get back what was taken away"

The final notes resonate and echo throughout the stadium. The sold out crowd claps as the last chord is strummed. Nick looks up from the acoustic guitar for the first time since he started playing. Noticing the crowd out in front of him, supporting him, he lets a small tear slowly run down his face.

"Miley Ray, I'm sorry I wasn't there to save you, but I pray every night that where ever you are up in heaven, you're safe. I love you Mile, I'll always love you and for you I promise to always stay strong."

**A/n: Tada! It's finished. Sorry the epilogue took me so long. I had the story part written for about a week, the song was the hard part because I wanted it to be just right. I hope you all enjoyed this sorry and weather you loved or hated the ending; I hope it made you feel something. **

**Abuse is real, but so is recovery. If you or anyone you know is being abused, don't wait to say something. Be proactive about it. There are thousands of resources at your fingertips, you're not alone. Don't wait because so much can change in a day. Act now. **

**I want to say thank you to all of those who stuck by this story and me from the very start. It's been a bumpy road filled with writer's block and summer trips but we made it through. I'll keep you all updated on any upcoming project I'm doing. **

**I love you all so much and would love if you could leave one last review telling me what you thought of not only the Epilogue but also the whole story. **


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